How Lil' Kim Gave Me My Groove Back

You probably wouldn't think that North Korea's megalomaniac  despot Lil' Kim would have much to do with my ongoing search for love, and 99.99% of the time that would be a good thing, because the less that Lil' Kim has to do with your love-life, the better.

To paraphrase Tom Robbins: "The song Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing  was not composed in North Korea."

But not long ago I started a correspondence with a young local woman who told me that  her dream vacation was to visit North Korea. In my book, expressing a desire to visit one of the most brutally oppressive nations on the planet is a really good conversational gambit, so I followed up on that.

She told me that N. Korea has been granting more Western tourist access lately, that of course it was all State-Propaganda-Doctrine-Dinners and visits to faked-up 'worker's paradises', but it is apparently dirt cheap and the food (taken from the mouths of starving children, no doubt) is supposed to be top-notch.

Plus, it will be on the last chance we will have to see a corrupt, crumbling ninth-world communist hell-hole up-close and personal while it is in mid-decline, as most of those opportunities vanished with the demise of the Cold War and  subsequent dismantlement of the Eastern Bloc.

Clearly, this was my kinda girl.

But before we could make our travel plans,  I met another young woman on line.  Of the countless hundreds of local women on-line, she was the only one who appeared when I  refined my search by adding 'atheist' as a descriptor.

The only one. One. One is the perfect number for me.

So we chatted on-line until dawn  and the next night we went out...we met the corner bar, where she had a beer and I had tea...it really doesn't bother me to be in bars (unless smoking is allowed), especially if I'm in rapt conversation with a lovely and utterly, unbelievably, engaging woman. Then we went to see our local minor-league baseball team play- which was her idea!- and had a great time sitting in the nosebleeds, watching people more than the actual game.  It turns out we are both NFL fans and are both just biding time until something happens on that particular miserable front...but a football fan! How cool is that?

We talked about our mutual 'dating' adventures and I told her that so far the second-most alluring dating offer I'd gotten was to tour North Korea, which I was actually sorta into.

My new friend then informed me that she'd been stationed in Korea while in the Army and that in her opinion there might be better vacation spots than North Korea...she might have included Turkish prisons or the interior of a live volcano on that list.

Clearly this was also my kind of girl.

After the game, we had more beer and tea and after the bar closed, we sat together on what passes for my front porch and shared our first kiss.

Neither one of us was in a particular hurry to say good-bye this morning, but we did. We sent each other simultaneous thank you notes and wound up chatting for hours, despite having just parted.

Life is getting better, it really is.

And I had a really awesome radio show too:

PODCAST HERE

THE NEW BREAKFAST SNOB, JUNE 4, 2011

The Kinks- Scum Of The Earth

BeBop Deluxe- Piece of Mine

Generic Tribe- Seven Pounds

Geraldine Fibbers- A Song About Walls

Stackridge- Spin Round The Room

Randy Newman- Back On My Feet Again


Captain Beefheart- Nowadays A Woman's Gotta Hit A Man

Happy Birthday- Birthday Party

Excesses- Klark Kent

Astronauts of Antiquity- Strangest Places

Green Man- She Moved Through The Fair

Melomane- Even Though You're Born Toulose

Cat Nights Begin-Funkadelicatessan

Frames- Live Forever

Concrete Blonde- Tomorrow, Wendy

Stefanie Seskin- I Just Keep On


Damien Dempsey- Patience


Claanad- The Other Side

Joan As Policewoman- Holiday

Monday Machines- Ruined Morning

Dropkick Murphys- Shipping Off To Boston

Eman and Friends- Come To Poland

Jefferson Airplane- 3/5 of a Mile in Ten Seconds

Loreena McKinnett- Mummer's Dance

Manda Mosher- Lay Me Down

Jen Foster- Broken

Scream Daisy- Bees


Leo Kottke- Nothin' Works

 .
Who knows what the future holds?