Kvetching and Betching: With Update

"Something good to say?"
That doesn't mean anything.
Sometimes I hate my own writing, but not as much as I hate having my very mundane and wholly reasonable dreams dashed on a daily basis. Some days bring multiple dashings.

First, an old stone that's been in my shoe for months:

For a long time I've had a Sunday morning radio show. Seven in the morning;an OK slot for a newbie, which I no longer am. For months, I've been asking for a better time slot...a while back , one opened up.

I wanted it. I asked for it. Multiple times. No use. An open, public announcement was made in hopes of filling the time-spot. One I felt I'd earned. It was up for grabs. To the public too, even if they had never even heard of the station.

After much hippie hand-wringing, it was decided that an ad hoc committee would be formed and all the applications would be voted on by the committee, which was comprised of everyone who showed up at the meeting, which was the largest crowd in station history.

It was essentially a popularity contest. I do poorly in those.

I was also disqualified for not attending the meeting. Two of my friends pointed out that I was at my grandmother's funeral 150 miles away and perhaps my show should be considered despite my absence .
This didn't help my show get on the air but it did give me a fair idea of how many friends I have in a crowded room at a place that I have given three and a half years of my life to.

I feel great about that.

But at least I have a job, right, and one that I am excited about. I was afraid I'd have a hard time sleeping Thursday night, being all nervous about the next day...at around 10 pm Thursday my phone rang. It was my new boss:

"There's a storm coming in, they have postponed the show until Monday."

"Oh.That sucks. Well, see you Monday morning, same time and place then?"

"No. We don't need you for that show.".

"Oh. What about the other shows? I'm ready to go, anytime. All summer."

"Probably not. Maybe late summer, helping with the tents in the West End. I'll call you"

Click.

What the fuck? The last time we talked, it was like we were old pals...now this?
On the website it mentions the storm and some city inspection trouble, but the rest of the shows are still on...someone has to set up the scaffolding, hook up the monitors and carry the gear around. I thought that I was going to be one of those guys...I know it's not lucrative or glamorous, but it's what I want and it''s damned hard to get a break into the biz...I had my break. Or not, it turns out.

I'm back to dreaming of simply sitting in a cube for 40 hours a week, fucking around with someone's Word and Excel docs, but that dream is more elusive than the music business...last week I endured three interviews, all through agencies and all done en masse. What is with these 'group interviews' anyway? When did that start?
These are for file clerk and secretarial positions, not for cheerleader tryouts.

Anyway, I felt pretty sexy when I thought I had that job. Sexy enough to answer a local personal ad, the only one of dozens that made me laugh; a very witty and sly writer- I met every one of her listed requirements -including having a job that I was passionate about-I sent her a very entertaining, upbeat and downright sweet missive- and she wrote directly back! At length and with humor! She had even figured out -via radio clues- who I was. Despite knowing this, she wrote back! It's looks like a date is almost inevitable.

I've been blogging long enough to know when romantic words are (or aren't) working and this was good...especially given that in this case we live in the same city...but now I have to explain that I don't really have a job...if that part wasn't true, why should she believe anything else I say?

What am I gonna do? Show her my blog? Sometimes I think the only reason I don't delete this fucker is because I may need it as an exhibit for my insanity defense.

Well, I gotta run. One of my DJs canceled at the last minute and it's my responsibility to make sure the shift is covered. I'll have some help from one of my new trainees, who has been a bright spot on my otherwise sore radio mood, so that's good...halfway through the show, I have to leave in order to attend a technical meeting.

I feel like quitting.


Update: The show tonight was fun and our meeting included pizza and a discussion about microphone processors, compression ratios and CD repairs. To me, that's a good time. I can't quit...I have another show in ten hours...and a compressor to calibrate...and pizza...fuck.

Last night: Reunion of friends old and new.
5 Americans, an expat residing in London and a Nottingham lass, also currently from London, who I found to be very well-spoken and quite charming.

Combined, I have known these 6 people for a total of 120 years and one day. I love them all.
Some of the best times I have ever had were shared with the people in this picture and that includes last night.
We started at Richmond' best pizzeria. This is my second Pizza Event in the last few days- a big thanks to all my friends for the great pies . Susanne sent me pie on New Years- now today- ! I think pizza pie is my new favorite food, as it will henceforth always remind me of good people.



Some long-simmering issues from the Colonial period were finally laid to rest to the satisfaction of all parties, but I will use this blog to get the last word on one thing:
-American football is much better than soccer. Soccer is like ice hockey played on grass, without fights involving sticks, which is the best part of hockey.
I'm not sure if anyone plays hockey anymore- there are rumours of 'professional' leagues, nothing confirmed.

Of our group I am the only non-drinker and the only non-smoker. Nottingham Liz had gone 18 months without "sucking a fag" but decided to have a cigarette after meeting us.
Richmond has that effect on people- or maybe it was the company.

By last orders, she'd smoked an entire carton of Benson & Hedges as well as two packs of Marlboros- she truly understands the spirit of American indulgence.
I had twenty-five cups of coffee and a gallon of water. I may never sleep again but I sure as hell am gonna pee ten times in the next hour.

As we were settling up to leave the pizza joint, one very young waitress who had overheard our huggy, laughy crew re-living old times looked at us and said: " twenty years from now I will having reunions with my friends".
I think this was a beautiful thing for her to say. If you can have happy reunions with friends you've known for twenty years, well then, you've had a lucky life.

On a famous staircase at the ultra-posh and historical Hotel Jefferson, where our Limey friends were staying. Ever seen Gone With the Wind? Then you have seen this very staircase.
We went back to their hotel for continued drinking- by this time I had switched to the hard stuff-soda. The sugar and caffeine rocks my world.

I forgot the flash on this. I think my friend in the foreground looks pretty in this pic , but I always think she looks pretty.

My friend with the shorts on was in great peril of exposing his 'bits' to a camera-wielding blogger, which is never a good idea. (Trust me, it's not)
This is the Men's room adjoining the hotel bar. The urinals have motion detector devices that emit a burst of rosy air freshener when you approach them so you don't have to smell your own urine while you void. I have never before seen such a thing, but I assume the stall-toilets have the same feature- something I wouldn't mind having at home. For the cats too.


Wed. night was also a good night. A young child picked my name out of a jar containing those of all in attendance at a new friend's home - I was pick #1 and was given my choice of any cookie or brownie I wanted from a heavily laden tray of chewy fudgy goodness.

Having a sweet kid tell you you can have any cookie you want is a good feeling- and yummy too.

Happy New Year

Other than being accused of sociopathic behavior it's been a pretty good New Years Eve, even made it to (almost now) midnight- and if you think sitting alone at home blogging is sad, you would be right .

But being drunk and destructive and probably in some sort of trouble would be a lot worse.

Some things that help make tonight better:

First, I was concerned that some of my friends may have somehow gotten the wrong impression from an earlier post- this is second hand info- I have contacted my closest friends and so far no one seems to think I offed myself- so I feel a little better, hopefully it'll pass without harm or more fuss. Oh, oops, nevermind- I did fuck up. I didn't mean to-I really think it's a terrible mistake-but that doesn't matter. I did it if you think I did it and any seed of doubt you have about me might as well be a conviction. I thought I was pretty clear my plans didn't involve suicide , but obviously I wasn't. I had no reason, nothing to gain by trying to do what you claim I did and it stuns me that it's even an issue, that you trust me so little.
If you really cared, you would give me the benefit of the doubt instead of this merciless, unforgiving rush to judgement.
There's nothing else I can say about this.



Anway, if you haven't ditched me by now, I had a great radio show this morning. There were techie glitches, but I am ultra-smooth (lucky) and somehow muddled thru -check this out- I didn't get the suicide mails I was told about, but I did get a fan letter from Canada. First Sweden, France, Mexico, theUK , now Canada- my Fan Club grows every week:

Hi Allan,

My name is Elvin and I have recently started listening to WRIR on the web here in Toronto Canada. I heard your program for the first time a couple of weeks ago and really enjoyed your variegated selection of tunes. I just had a few general questions about the show that i hoped you could answer.

Q1. What is it called?

Q2. When does it air and do you usually get started right on time?

Q3. Do you host the entire show by yourself every week, or do you often have a co host/fill-in?

Q4. Who regularly fills in when you are away?

Q5. Are there any news headline updates, community news updates or regular features during the program and, if so, when do they air?

Q6. Is this a permanent time slot for your program, or does the station's schedule change every semester?

You guys have a great station: keep up the good work!

Best and happy new year!
Elvin

I wrote him back promptly, thanked him and answered all his questions. Little things matter. I made someone in Toronto happy just by doing what I love to do.
Cool.

Third, the Twin just sent email from Chicago, so I know he arrived safely. I may move there when it gets warmer, it's a crazy, fucked-up lovable city. A job would help, the Twin maybe could help- a job means I don't have to crash at his place, so finding work for me is in his best interest ,heh!

Last, but not least, my part-time Blogpal Susanne has really done me right- out of the blue she calls me and tells me to expect a knock on my door in about 45 minutes, but don't worry...good thing, otherwise I mighta flushed my stash...anyway, the knock arrives as promised and it's Pizza Guy and he's got a pile of pizzas and goodies, courtesy of Susanne and I swear it's probably the first time a pizza boy ever saw a grown man weep over a stack of pizzas, but it really meant a lot to me.
Susanne, your timing was PERFECT, thankyou!
Susanne has also helped me produce a legitimate resume so maybe I can stop bitching about not having a job and start bitching about having a job instead.

So I can start the year well fed and, if I can't be happy, at least I'm not mortified.
Who am I kidding? I'm pretty set right now.
You should see all this food- the only reason I'm not grinning is my mouth is full!

Happy New Year