Showing posts with label platypus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label platypus. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Playbook Lookback

I started following politics the same year that I started following pro football. That year was 1972.
I was six years old and very impressionable- my favorite animal was the dolphin and the best NFL team in history were the unbeaten 1972 Miami Dolphins- they became my favorite team.

By that logic, I should be a Republican.
In the 1972 Presidential Election the Democratic Party got it's ass whipped. Hard.
But my adults told me that Nixon was a liar and a criminal and that if he got elected, we'd see some bad things happen. My adults were correct.






I am still a Miami Dolphins fan. This year's Dolphins may well be the worst NFL team that isn't the 1976 Tampa Bay Bucs, but I'm still a believer. One day we will win a game. It just won't be this year.



This season, Miami fans are so ashamed of their team's shoddy performance that they have started wearing bags on their heads at home games. They still attend, but only to display their outrage, sorrow and frustration.


That is how I feel about the current state of American politics. If I lived in Iowa, I'd be making a bag right now.

I am not certain who I want as President but I do know a few things:

- I don't want a Republican. I'm not exactly gushing with love for the Democrats, but they are slightly the lesser of two evils.
Ralph Nader was wrong. It did matter who won in 2000. And 2004.

- I don't want anyone who voted to give George Bush the power to start a war in Iraq. I knew that was disaster in the making- I wish I had been proven wrong, but I wasn't.
I said Bush was a liar and a criminal and if he got his war, bad things would happen. This was a dangerous opinion in 2002, but I stuck to it and I still do.

- I would rather have a platitude-spewing, egg-laying evolutionary freak in the White House than a Bible-thumping, war-mongering Creationist.

-There is no Platypus Party- but there should be.

Being Australian, Patty (above) sets an exemplary democratic example. Australia recently voted their Prime Minister out of office for being too much like George Bush. Strangely, in Australia the Liberals are the conservative party- I think it's because they are south of the equator. Bullshit flushes backwards in the Southern Hemisphere.

Honestly, I can't imagine why anyone would want to be President. They- and we- are fucked from Day One. It's like accepting a job as manager of a store that has "Going-out-of-Business" signs posted on the windows...I did that once. It didn't work out.

Good luck.

Hang in there, baby!

Remember: The plummet of a thousand feet begins with a single step!