Showing posts with label word abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label word abuse. Show all posts

Monday, November 19, 2007

In Defense Of Blog (#96 in a series of 2)

It seems that hardly a day goes by without another lurid internet scandal hitting the news. This hoax led to the suicide of a young girl- it is especially heinous because it was perpetrated by adults, not by other kids. It was done by neighbors.
One cannot help but conclude that the adults- who passed themselves off as a teenage boy- enjoyed the cruel emotional destruction that they wrought on the poor girl- there doesn't seem to be any motive other than pure evil meanness and sadism.

Cable news has created a new "reality" genre- one in which the lowest life-forms on the planet (Internet Trolls) are lured into fake trysts with underage decoys that they met in chat rooms; when they arrive at the meeting place, they are met with TV news crews and , later, the police. Strangely, many of the men (it's always men) have seen these programs, yet they can't resist the trap...and there seem to be an endless supply of these 'predators'. It's disturbing, to say the least.

All of this negative attention makes me increasingly reluctant to discuss blogging with my non-blogger pals, so I'd like to take a minute and point out a few of the positive things that blogging has brought into my life:

Yesterday I had something that I wanted to discuss with somebody- but most of my local friends know each other and this town has an amazing ability to distort gossip- so I called a long-distance blogpal and had a long talk about football, sex, politics, religion and stuff...it dawned on me that I was watching NFL football while talking on the phone with a woman about sex (and football!)- for free! A lot of men would pay for that...

...speaking of paid, I made honest money last week, and I couldn't have done it without my blog. A while back, I got a comment or two from a fellow music fan who had found my blog by googling obscure bands... we exchanged a email or three and it turned out that we live in the same city, so he came down and sat in with me one morning during my show- we found that we live exactly one block apart, small world, eh?
Last week I fed his cats for him while he moshed across England- upon his return I was rewarded with cash, a tin of travel sweets from London and assorted music-related geegaws not typically found in the US.

Honestly, I'd rather clean catshit than work for lawyers again, but I do need to find a real job soon...

Blog also helped me through the long painful months after I got sick and had to quit drinking. I quit cold turkey without any outside help, which is probably the hardest possible way- I started writing about my experiences on my blog and I soon found that I wasn't alone, which helped a lot during the worst of days.
I got hurt a few times too, but that's part of life, ya know? Stronger for it and all that...yeah.

I've been blogging nearly four years, which is a long time by blog standards. There's a big world out there that doesn't involve blogging, and I've had a slow, difficult time adjusting to it since I quit drinking- that sort of change just doesn't happen overnight- things have been really rough lately but I haven't started drinking again, so I feel like some real progress has been made...but I've also started slacking on my blog as I get more involved with real life; it's as if blog is a sort of therapy for me ( I know I'm not alone in this) and maybe, just maybe I don't need therapy as badly as I once did.
At least I hope that there is some truth in that.

Anyway, this isn't the end, not yet...I've come close to deleting this blog many,many times... something always keeps me from doing so. I've had at least a half-dozen other blogs over the last few years and never formed any sort of attachment to or from them, but this one has survived every purge, weathered every storm...and there's an election year coming up, so I imagine my political outrage will keep me on-line to some degree, but things are changing for me. There are things happening I don't feel like blogging about- perhaps they'll be fodder for future posts, perhaps not...

I've been becoming more interested in writing fiction, but I find that blog is a terrible platform for long, serialized fiction- the chapters are presented to the reader in reverse order- and the reader, unless they are well-versed in the logistics of blog, often doesn't realize this, entering in the middle or at the end...one of the first blogs I read was like that.
It wasn't until the author printed out the entire blog in manuscript form and mailed it to me that I caught on- it was excellent...that seems so long ago , but it's the sort of thing that keeps me coming back to blogworld- one of the finest unpublished writers I've ever read once sent me an entire manuscript- that never woulda happened without my own blog.
Strange things can happen- sometimes that includes good things.

Hmm...it occurs to me that I am giving myself a pep talk- and that means :

Puppies!

See ya soon.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Put The Spin On

Friday morning Mr. Hole gave me a lecture on perception and attitude.

"The way you walked out yesterday gives me the perception that you have a negative work attitude."

Huh? With rhetoric like that, who needs grammar?
Translation: I walked out yesterday and it gives him the impression I don't give a shit about my job.

I shrugged and walked out of his office. I imagine I'll be fired any day now.

That's OK. Yesterday I told Mr. Hole that I was pretty disappointed that they had fired my boss, but that if someone was going to replace him, it should have been me. When they bypassed me, it sent a pretty strong signal that I wasn't considered for the position at all and , by extension, had no upward future with the company.

I put it into words that he could understand:

"I get the perception that I am stuck in a permanent dead-end job."

I'm training my replacement next week.

Fuck it. I'll probably have to go back to office temp status again. Who knows? There isn't much that stresses and depresses me as much as looking for work, but I got some good news yesterday too- my grandmother is out of the recovery home and back at her real home!
When she went into hospital the docs said she didn't have a chance but she surprised everyone but herself and got better.
Funny thing, in 2005 the doctors told me they were sure that I was dead , but I wasn't. Three times I died, they said.
I don't remember- I wasn't alive at the time- but I got better.

I guess I got that stubbornness from my granny.


Only one show this weekend:

The Beatles- Across the Universe
God damn it all! I walk in this morning and there are no headphones. It's very hard to do a live radio broadcast without headphones. Calm down...
Nothing's gonna change my world...

Steve Hillage- Saucer Surfing
Listening to Hillage made me spend a lot of money on digital delay FX. It was worth it.

Supertramp- Sister Moonshine
Crisis? What crisis? Nothing's gonna change my world...

Pretty Things- The Letter/Rain
When I got to our meeting place
I stared into empty space
No one here for me
This is a two-part intro to my nine-part trilogy of heartache songs in the second hour of the show. Make sense? Good.

Pete Droge- Find Yourself a Door
Screw doors. Give me a bridge and a can of gasoline.

Brian Eno - Burning Airlines Gives You So Much More
Oh. No.

Point Records Sampler- #4
This is from a Point promo CD. The first 3 tracks are Phillip Glass but the sleeve says: "Includes 5 bonus tracks from the Point catalog."
Nowhere on the sleeve or disc does it say who the bonus tracks are by. Strange way to promote bands- anonymously.

Damien Dempsey- The Jar Song
Ah, Damo...

Led Zeppelin- Dazed and Confused
After all this time, this still sounds great.

10 CC- The Hospital Song
This is for my grandmother, who is no longer in the hospital!

Lou Reed
- Satellite of Love
Sigh...

Bruce Cockburn- World of Wonders
Tip o' the dish to the Rube for pointing me at Bruce Cockburn. Let's travel overseas to Canada...
Too bad Bruce sings "fuck" on the first cut- it's awesome.

Rickie Lee Jones- The Real End
This song is dedicated to all my Scorpios, past present and future.

Pentangle- Mirage
This reminds me of something that was too good to be true. This is 120 seconds of aural bliss, then it's over, leaving you wanting more. How could it only last two minutes?
Part one.

Captain Beefheart- Too Much Time
Part two.

Fairport Convention- I'll Keep it With Mine
Part three.

Fiona Joyce- Cry Over You
Part four in my trilogy of heartache, loss, lies and betrayal.

King Crimson- The Night Watch
Where are the headphones?

Eleanor McCovey- Whisper and a Prayer
Part five in my trilogy of heartache, loss, lies, betrayal and unrequited love.

West of Eden- High Ground
You are looking for "total authenticity" on internet dating sites? Good fucking luck with that...part six.

Jethro Tull- Back To the Family
I think you had to be there.

Jefferson Airplane- Come Up the Years
This one is for my teenage Swedish internet girlfriend. Part seven.

Claanad- The Other Side
Sometimes I love this band. Sometimes I don't. I don't know why.

Blonde Redhead- En Particulier
This is for Petra, last seen on a beach in Southern France. Where did you go? We last spoke on my 40th birthday and my emails were never returned...sigh. Eight.

Steeleye Span- One Night as I Lay On My Bed
I have no idea what this song is about. Am I trying to depress the fuck out of myself? Nine.

Loreena McKennitt
- Never-ending Road
Sometimes it seems like the never-ending road is a fucking hamster wheel. I'll try not to think about that...maybe a quiet song will calm me down. It's too early for a goddamn panic attack, but thinking about... and...and ...well, it's messing up my head.

Anuna- Sleepsong
How about six minutes of ambient choral music? Better than pills!

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Have you ever tried to explain blogging to an 87-year-old woman? How'd that go?

I haven't told my grandmother about blog and how much it means to me, but I did tell her that a lot of my friends have been sending their get-well wishes and prayers to her. That made her happy.

She says thanks and so do I . Thanks!