Match -Making for the Notoriously Innocent

JULY 10--Susan Smith, the South Carolina woman who killed her two boys by driving her auto into a lake while the children slept in their car seats, has placed an online personal ad seeking pen pals who are "not judgmental" and want to write to a convicted murderer who considers herself "sensitive, caring, and kind-hearted." The 31-year-old inmate placed the ad, which you'll find below, last month and included a picture showing her dressed in a standard-issue South Carolina Department of Corrections prison uniform. Smith, serving a life sentence for the October 1994 murder of sons Michael, 3, and Alex, 14 months, notes in the ad that she loves "rainbows, Mickey Mouse, the beach, the mountains, and waterfalls." She adds, "I have grown and matured alot since my incarceration, but I will always hurt for the pain I've caused so many, especially my children."

--From The Smoking Gun
(you can see her ad there- she talks about what she does in her spare time...Jesus wept)

Susan Smith must be an optimist at heart, because rainbows and waterfalls are somewhat impractical hobbies for someone serving life for killing their own children. The thought of actually communicating with Susan Smith makes me feel like my shorts are full of chipped ice.

What would the sex be like?

"Oh baby, let me put a noose around your neck and fuck you like Abu Ghraib..."

Who the hell would wish to write to a woman who is so "sensitive" that she commits infanticide during her mood swings??

Oh, right.



It's a good match. O.J. likes blondes and is also "caring and sensitive" ; although he doesn't love his kids enough to lock them in car and roll them into a lake, he does care enough about himself to write a "speculative" book about what he would have done had he viciously murdered their mother, which of course he didn't do, being innocent and all.

Susan Smith originally claimed that a black man kidnapped her babies. In her personal ad she says she "has grown... a lot", so maybe she can overlook O.J.'s black skin and love him for his heart, which is also black.

They have a lot in common:

Simpson's first marriage ended in separation and divorce. In 1979, a year after his separation, Simpson's first child of his prior marriage drowned in the Rockingham mansion pool.

He must love his surviving children - he's giving the money from the book to his children.

His publisher, whose parent company is the same one that owns Fox News (hence the 2-part TV interview) has just issued a bizarre statement to the effect that she didn't actually pay Simpson, but a shadowy third party moved the money , and even if she did pay him, which of course she didn't, being innocent and all, the kids are supposed to get "some" of the cash.

There shouldn't be any money.

No one-NO ONE- should buy this book. Wait and see which stores carry it and which ones don't-should be interesting.

(Speaking of Fox News and large, shadowy amounts of cash being delivered to known murderers via third parties, have you seen this story? Those guys at Murdoch's News Corp sure have class- they own MySpace too, ya know? The guy in charge of MySpace just resigned to spend more time with his family hmm....)

I wonder if Simpson's book has a dedication page?
Which would be more disturbing : a dedication to his butchered wife or to his bereft and traumatized children?