Mood Orbit

If something can't be explained with a simple annoying chart it's probably not worth explaining. For example: you could pin a handy pictorial guide to moods on your shirt, thus removing any possibilty of ambiguity during communication. I think that some form of cartoony face is the preferred form of electronic communication for the younger set already, so the idea of wearing a Mood Indicator should catch on pretty quickly. This will prevent a great deal of misunderstanding , thus preventing many mistakes, which in turn will lower the overall Calamity Level.
We can use some of that .

Of course, if you are anything like me you won't see this as a Mood Indicator. You will see it as a Mood Dictator.
I look at that chart and the first thing I want to do is play "Spin the Mood Wheel". Whee!

Man, wouldn't that simplify things? Of course it wouldn't. It would make things ridiculously complicated- which is how I like it. I'd have to change the "BORED" face to something else- with so many changing moods you never know what you'll get - but you won't be bored or boring.
Intolerable and institutionalized, yes. Bored, boring-not so much.

Let's change "BORED" to "MEDICATED". I would do this using a Paint program but the pills are starting to kick in and I'm getting lazy.

So instead of words, I'll use another handy visual aid:


As this illustrates , one can see that this whole mess is X's fault. X has something to do with degenerates- perhaps this is the sort of personality X attracts or maybe it's just bad luck.Whatever the case, it's critical to something or other. We don't know for sure because we don't know who 'X' is- that's why they're called X. It's like a secret code name.
All we can do is wonder at the reasoning behind X's erratic and sometimes dangerous behavior.
Why ? is a word that gets used a lot. (expressed as y above )
Do we need more medication? Perhaps we just need better visual aids.

Let's change the abstract in order to alter the concrete. This is easy and it's cheaper than drugs.
Ready? Go!
Think warm and fuzzy thoughts....

Aaaaannnnddd......















PUPPIES!

See how easy that is? Why can't we all have puppies all the time? Is there a Puppy Channel on TV? Why is it so easy to get puppies out of pills and bottles? (These questions are so stupid they answer each other -Ed.)
Uh oh. Unwanted thoughts...warm and fuzzy, warm and fuzzy...


BUNNY!
That wasn't so bad.
Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. If you want to get metaphysical gobblegookery about it you can even tell yourself that anything that can happen will happen on some parallel universe. Just imagine that you live in that universe and it shall become so.

PLANET SMILEY!

See? Mars smiles on you. A happy person would see this as an astronomical smiley face, but I can't help but get all mythological about the consequences of receiving the grin of a War God. That sucks. I like thinking about planets. I think space stuff is cool.

PLANET LOVE!

Look! It's working! Surely this is a sign.
Mars is pleased.
Oh wait. I forgot- we really don't want Mars to be pleased do we? I mean, isn't he, like all about strife and conflict and stuff?
It's kinda negative.
Well...let's be decent and see how he does this time around. No hard feelings and sorry 'bout last time, eh?

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Damn! That actually worked! Amazing.