Torn

I am torn between two worlds- one world is encompassed by four unadorned pale yellow walls, the fluorescent lights only serving to accentuate the vaguely nauseating weakness of the pasty color, reminding me just how institutional that this particular shade is- it's the same yellow as found in the rooms where the professionally sincere ask you to share your feelings, even though you know that sharing those feelings will not help your cause one iota.

No wonder they put me in this box to do Data Entry. This leeched-yellow, silent and windowless cell is perfect for Data Entry.

I am wholly unsuited for Data Entry. I hate yellow walls and I like windows. (Small 'w' windows)

So there's this other world- it contains everything that's not in this damnable yellow box. That's a lot of stuff- it's almost unbearable to think that all that stuff- good and bad -is going on - it's out there and it'll happen with or without me.

But here's the kicker- I can make that stuff better. I've done it before- I actually do it every single freaking day- but sometimes it's hard to keep track of oneself- those breadcrumbs trailing back to where we came from are gobbled by invisible ravens, leaving us little choice but to press on, looking forward- is that a familar landmark ahead or is it El Dorado, the fabled city of gold?
It's difficult to tell.
It is for me, anyway. I hope that it may be easier for you but realistically, it's probably about the same.
Lacking eyes in the back of my skull, I shall instead walk forward and find out what lies ahead. It could be an Oasis, a hidden Paradise or a mere mirage... but I won't know until I get there.

When I find out, you shall be the first one to know. I shall be the second.