Spring Ruins My Lousy Mood

It sure is pretty outside today. I grabbed up my banana-based lunch , walked down to the river and sat on a rock that knows my name.
Or at least it recognized my ass.

"Hello", said my new granite friend, literally talking up my arse.

My world is pretty unusual, so a talking stone is nothing remarkable. I'm more surprised when they don't speak. You'd think a talking rock would have a "gravely" voice, but this one sounded more like a chipmunk or a rabbit. Like I said, it's a strange world.

"MMMpphhh", I replied, my mouth stuffed with fruit. I'm annoyed. The first word anyone has said to me all day and it has to come from a goddamned boulder while I'm eating. This is so typical...

"Remember me? I bet you do," teased the stone.
There's entire decades I cannot remember-how in Godzilla's name am I supposed to recall this quite unremarkable grey rock?

But I do remember. The last time I sat on this rock I wasn't alone. This is where Alicia and I used to go to get high during work, way back in 2000. My first office affair started right here.
Nowadays there's a new path and public park , but back then it was much more secluded.
Those were good days. For a while.
They were not so long ago.
I wonder what ever happened to Alicia?
No I don't. I don't care.
She used me up and threw me away and nothing's been right for me since.
Damn you, Grey Boulder!
Shhh... that sound...the stone is laughing at me. In her voice. This is unfair!

So I do the only sensible thing. I stand, turn and kick the rock in it's side.
Take that!

Oww! oww! I think I broke my foot.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah. I do. I probably shouldn't but I do."

"Good."

There's a sound like a giant egg cracking and suddenly my rock has gone. There's some shiny pebbles and non-descript rubble, but it doesn't look anything like the stone seat that I'd been talking to. I poke the debris with my other foot.
There's a bracelet in there.
I know that bracelet. That bracelet is right where it belongs, so I leave it be.
It can keep my cast-off banana peel company. They are mates.

There's a gull circling overhead. I wonder if it's attracted to shiny things? Probably more interested in the peel.

Me? I no longer care about seagulls, peels or jewelry.
It's a nice day and I have better things to do.