Friday, July 02, 2004

I Need A Polite Term For Her

Warning: Contains socially objectionable language

Context: I answer phones/faxes from irate insurance policy-holders for a
living. I pull and review their file and then assign it to the appropriate claim representative. I have no control over who calls and what they need. None.

Situation: Got call from pissy customer. Using a combination of professional decorum and remarkable self-restraint I calmed her down enough to get a rational explanation of her complaint. Upon reviewing her file, I determined she had a valid case. I assured her that I would have an adjuster contact her after the holiday and the Company would resolve this issue. I don't enjoy doing this kind of crap, but I'm good at it.
When I worked for the Gubbermint I had the Governor and the Mayor call and yell at me, so some old lady with a leaky roof is no big deal. (I didn't have to spend 40 hours a week with the Governor though).
I assigned the claim to a new rep ,who I've never worked with before, and she flies into a rage. At me. For doing my job.
"Why do I get this shit?!", she barked. "I'm not doing this today. I'm not doing this next week either. Fuck all these storm claims-I'm too goddamn busy for this shit!" And so on...

For three hours I listened to her bitch about a simple-ass claim that any reasonable adjuster could process in fifteen minutes. Her damncube is directly opposite mine, so I can hear every fucking word she says. Things like: "Why the hell is there a temp here?" "What gives that guy the right to give me new work?"
She eventually called my boss and said she "doesn't appreciate having me around."
He must have told her to go fuck herself , because she shut up in mid-whine and said "OK, I'll do it" and hung up. Slammed that phone, she did. She slams the phone after every call.

I'm almost always in a state of barely controlled fit-throwing anger, but I'm as serene as Buddah compared to her.

Problem: I'm having a difficult time coming up with the proper epithet(s) to use when writing about this woman. Being a gentleman with a delicate and sensitive nature, I find it difficult and improper to use terms like "snarling she-bitch" , "screaming cunt", "vagina dentata", "pre-orgasmic witch" and such. I'm too nice for that.

So what should I call her? I have a feeling she's going to inspire more than a few angry rants, so help me out here with a proper and polite term or two for future usage.

Suggestions please.


Lyzard said...

From the sounds of it I think you should call her a raging cunt rag... but that's just me. I'm not a Southern gentlemen like yourself and have no qualms about calling women names, especially when they work so hard to earn them like this little treasure you described.

Allan said...

Gosh. I try so hard not to offend people and be tolerant of all view-points. yeah...

I'll call her Rag Doll. I was so angry at work I needed help with insults.That's rare.Thanks for the help.
It's a full moon tonight, so maybe it's a water thing.
I really don't care. I had a great night and I feel the purge to oats. Ahem. The turgid,surge to bloat, er, um ,poke.

Urge to post.

It's all Freudian Intermittent Dyslexia Order (FIDO) to me.