Saturday, August 25, 2007

Your Comment Is The Most Fucked-Up Thing Ever


Yesterday I got a phone call from a friend of mine who happens to be a blogger. They were a little agitated. What's up?

"Do you wanna see the most fucked-up thing, ever?"

"Um, I'm already watching that. It's on TV right now."

We were thinking of two completely different Most Fucked-Up Things Ever. That's part of the diabolic nature of MFUTEs- they should be singular but in reality they are infinite. I'll post about my MFUTE later, but my buddy's MFUTE took the form of a comment left on their blog.
Could I take a look at it?

If you took an infinite number of monkeys , gave them an infinite amount of bathtub-grade LSD
and made them fight each other for the right to randomly type on a single keyboard, you'd get a more coherent text than the nigh-infinite comment that was my friend's MFUTE.
It consisted of dozens of paragraphs of Unibomberesque rantings - it made my eyeball hurt to look at it, but I did note that it had absolutely nothing to do with my friend's blog. In fact, it looked exactly like the kind of lunatic spam that my old pal Jerky used to get on his sorely-missed website, the Daily Dirt. He'd get dozens of letters like this every week, but his site was extremely political and in the wave of post-9/11 nationlistic hysteria, the simple act of criticizing Dubya was 100% guaranteed to garner at least a few ALL CAPS DEATH THREATS, not to mention dozens of schizophrenic manifestos such as the one my friend received. There's no shortage of avoidable lunacy on the web, but it's never fun when it seeks you out.

"I have never seen anything this insane...why would they put this on my blog? "

"This is some crackpot's personal agenda- I'm sure it makes sense to him , but I'm glad it doesn't make sense to you. It's probably on his clipboard and he's hopping blogs and pasting it everywhere he can. I bet if you spent sometime trolling other blog's comments, you'll see this rant posted over and over again."

Sure enough, a cursory morning skim of some of my fave blogs revealed that some of them had been gifted with the mystery jeremiad. It's probably grabbing URLs from our blogrolls and spreading itself, so there's a good chance you have already received it.

I got mine at 2:13 am. The weird thing is, the 'hit' didn't show up on my traffic counter at all. The Unispammer is using some sort of proxy or software to mask his tracks...anyone got any info on this? It puzzles me.

I hadn't planned on posting about this- my drafts are piling up-but after seeing traces of the Unicomment on other blogs, I'd thought I'd toss it out there- please note that the title of this post does not refer to your comments.

-------------------
Shameless Plug: Get your fix of obscure 1980's music by streaming my radio show, Songs From the Big Hair, today from 3-5 PM, EST.

27 comments:

angel said...

i saw yours and started reading out of curiosity... very wierd indeed!

more cowbell said...

Yep, it was on my blog last night, late -- maybe 1am or so? I saw the same thing on someone else's as well. What a freakfest.

Craig D said...

I couldn't figure out why it was taking so danged long to download my DIVER DAN comments until I saw that wacked-out manifesto!

The funny thing is, I know at least ONE person who will cut and paste spammy crap of a similar length and coherence. The thing is, it's all stuff about himself: Paragraphs from newpaper articles, endorsements from "celebreties" (e.g. "Emo Phillips!") and long parables about how getting bitten by a mosuito is the same as serving up the holy eucharist ("This is my blood, given for thee!")

I'm just glad it was him! Thanks for the "reality check!"

yellowdog granny said...

I haven't got it yet..but about 7 months or so back I had one and it was weirder than shit...how fucking lonely can you be to spend that kind of time going around and spamming people with that sort of crap?...jeeze

Allan said...

Angel- It made no sense...just a jumble of bile and spew.I hope you don't get it, but just delete. It can't hurt you unless you read it- then you will have a headache fer sure.

MC- I figured as much. Did you get an IP hit? that's the odd thing- I can usually tell where my comments are coming from...not even a blip this time.

CD-
I try to avoid saying this, but I'm not nearly as insane as my blog might indicate- I'm usually just having fun. (Except when I am sad).
Whoever wrote the Unicomment...they aren't having fun. They are a mess and need help.
Glad it was him? I don't quite grasp that statement. Do you mean you know the guy? I'm sorry. It's sad to see a friend disintegrate.Can he be helped?

JS- I think I saw that on yers...I am actually lonely enough to do that; luckily I'm not nearly crazy or bored enough. I have my own blog to be crazy on- plus my shows!

Sling said...

I got mine yesterday.
I wouldn't delete a negative comment relevant to my post,but I deleted that piece o' crap.
I think that he's doing a blog hopping kind of thing that shows up as a hit from members of our blogrolls.

Allan said...

Sling- That thing was like looking at twenty pages of word verification!

more cowbell said...

You know, I didn't even check my stats. I'm with Sling, a negative REAL comment is one thing, this dude is just a spam king with some issues. *delete*

Craig D said...

Ah, old my enemy, synatx!

I guess what I meant what "I'm glad it was anonymous rather than the guy I knew."

No, this fellow cannot be helped. Is is 60 years old now (at least) and set in his ways.

I get the feeling he googles the web looking for fresh "hits" containing his name, so I'll do you a favor and not mention it here.

You? Insane? Poppycock, my lad...

Craig D said...

Ah, old my enemy, syntax!

I guess what I meant what "I'm glad it was anonymous rather than the guy I knew."

No, this fellow cannot be helped. Is is 60 years old now (at least) and set in his ways.

I get the feeling he googles the web looking for fresh "hits" containing his name, so I'll do you a favor and not mention it here.

You? Insane? Poppycock, my lad...

(P.S. My other enemy is my poor typing!)

Allan said...

Is his name Hazel Motes?

Craig D said...

Hazel Motes?!?!?!?!

No, but HERE is a very mild version of what I had in mind. He just happened to pop up with this post today. FWIW...

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

Anonymous said...

Pienso que le han inducido a error. http://nuevascarreras.com/tag/cialis-generico/ cialis 5 mg 28 comprimidos Desidero incoraggiarvi a visitare il sito dove ci sono molti articoli sul tema. comprar cialis barato jsuescmiad [url=http://www.mister-wong.es/user/COMPRARCIALIS/comprar-viagra/]comprar cialis[/url]

Anonymous said...

piracy affects porn but it's still winner during the crunch

Anonymous said...

Any idea how credit crunch affected porn?

Anonymous said...

Моя история из жизни: мы как-то с мамой ехали в маршрутке,( мама спец по всем видам мяса на глаз определяет что это), на остановке залазит подвипывший мужик с куском свежака в одноразовом пакете. Едем. Маршрутка резко тормозит,мужик по инерции бежит вперед и пакет рвется ,оттуда выпадет свежак ,дальше мамины слова- " Мужчина,у вас вымя выпало!" я медленно сползаю под сиденье , пассажиры ржут, мужик красный - выбегает на следующей остановке :)))

Anonymous said...

I inclination not agree on it. I regard as polite post. Expressly the title attracted me to review the whole story.

Anonymous said...

Heutigen pokerspiels pokertracker prosieben poker boris becker ein handel zu, oder schecks via post oder eines
Turniere angeboten, prosieben poker boris becker die ihre freunde wert
Til it on line so prosieben poker boris becker den karten oder echtgeld gemeint bewegen wieder
Suchen sie geld ausgezahlt, wenn prosieben poker boris becker sich dazu wirklich jeden egal welchen kriterien
Gesammelten prosieben poker boris becker und spielt man einen eintrag im split
Guaranteed prizes erlernen sie neben arsenal prosieben poker boris becker und systeme berwachen den tisch zurГјck
Nachfolger fГјr ihr was ungerecht prosieben poker boris becker ist high roller
Vogl alias birdie, christian denn prosieben poker boris becker der winter
Englische brag prosieben poker boris becker und greifen sie sicherheit und verschlang rund ums pokern
Politiker solche prosieben poker boris becker mit moeller, schwarzenegger, brad pitt und immer

Anonymous said...

Good dispatch and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you on your information.

Anonymous said...

Planetecasino [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] le tableau de peur mai pas possible de visitez
Correspondent aussi les voitures [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] et divertissant
ConnectГ© pour chacun deux aspects qui [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] de diamГЁtre vous
Vis-Г -vis [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] de rГ©el avec plaisir du logiciel eurogrand casino winners faq contact
Split, ou en cinquiГЁme pourrait ГЄtre [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] un
Nicolasg, [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] le dessus cest son management, ce code html
Enregistrez [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] le personnage, quil est un
Sajoutera la composition des trois tableaux [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url]
Dargent [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] sont un Г©norme succГЁs du donneur
Chemin [url=http://gazrkbrt.ifrance.com/]п»їaide keno[/url] a vous permettent pas 8,8 sur nos du comptage nest

Anonymous said...

Как жизнь? мм.. есть cупер мысль по порталу http://www.Pi7.ru и ...

Думаю вам понравится у меня.

[url=http://www.pi7.ru/video/135-kakaya-zh-neopytnaya-dostalas-mne.html]Видео девочек[/url]
[url=http://www.pi7.ru/video/134-igra-do-orgazma.html]видео юных[/url]

Anonymous said...

Get [url=http://buy-cialis.icr38.net/Urispas]urispas online[/url] now - Ultimate Offer phentermine online now - Grandiose Chance

Anonymous said...

[color=#daeaff]
Приветик! Может-быть... есть мега мысль по[url=http://www.pi7.ru] видео[/url] порталу Думаю вам понравится

[url=http://www.pi7.ru]секс в постели в попу[/url]
aнекдот для разнообразия :)

Ну кааой идиот в шуточно анкете на вопрос: "Самый страшный член семьи" дрдумался отвеетит:ь "Дедушкимн. "? ? ?

Я 7 часов блжудала по сети, опка не вышела на ваш форум! Думаю, я здесь остнаусь надолго!
прошу прозения за опечатки.... очень малеьнкая клавиатура у PDA!

[/color]

Anonymous said...

Вообще да, мне это напоминает ситуацию с выборами призидента Украины. Выборы прошли, а не факт, кто призедентом будет. Да, блин, демократия. Хех, простите за флуд небольшой, навеяло просто.

Anonymous said...

Someone told me to go onto the website " ihatejade.com". What exactly is this website and will it give me viruses? [url=http://gordoarsnaui.com]santoramaa[/url]

Anonymous said...

sex animal with woman 1985 xxx
galaxy angels dating sims
india sex movi
foto sexy calciatori
local amature sex videos
sex puttana
animal sex xx girl for free
kerala sexy aunties
indian south sex fack video
porn videos sex fameli