Getting yelled at is a great way to start the day. It's even better when you get yelled at twice. Or three times. At this rate I'll get yelled at 24 times today.
Your goddamn roof blew off last September and you are just now calling me about it? You don't understand why I can't send someone out today? You'll be lucky if you get so much as a phone call before next week. Fuck off and die. Die a thousand screaming deaths, you in-bred pig-fucker.
Same for you and your fucking shingles. Eleven months later, you notice they don't match? Tough shit.Why should I care? Your file will gather dust until I calm down enough to write a letter denying your claim. Probably next month.
That goes double for you and your goddamn big screen TV. A power surge last September killed it? Now you want money? Read your fucking policy. Power surges aren't covered. Suddenly it was lightning that did it. Oh,I see. Scream something about lawyers, but I've already stopped listening. Denied.
If Mike would fucking call and let me know the plan , I'd feel a lot better.
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Your fan club awaits...
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