Ugh. A post-picnic hangover, emotional disrepair and an office full of new temps. At 4 weeks in , I'm already a grizzled veteran- I haven't seen attrition like this since my 'contractor' days in the jolly old Belgian Congo. Last week I was training a temp and he went out for a cigarette and never came back. This is common.
Boss assigns two nubile young lasses to me as trainees. Ok. Soon we are joined by Church Girl . I have a sizable crush on Church Girl, so her presence improves my mood. I need to find a chance to ask her out.
My cube is about 100 yards away from everything else, so we do a lot of walking. Me and my single-file train of foxy babes. I instruct them to make 'quacking ' sounds while we walk through the busy zone.
Remarkably, they do this without even asking 'why?'
It's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
My work-pal, SH, falls out of his cube as we pass, doubled up with laughter.
Even Boss laughs.
The girls are pretty sharp, though. They catch on quickly. OK. Consider yourself trained, now disperse to your own cubes. Come see me if you have any questions or you just wanna visit.
The girls look confused. Cubes?We don't have cubes, they explain. They were told it would be a few days before they had computers. Not computer access, mind you, but an actual, physical PC. So I'm stuck with them for a while longer. Not so bad. They smell good and they do my work for me. They like calling people . I hate it. Y'all can take turns calling bankers.
The youngest one tells me loves this kind of work, especially when she makes $11/hr. At first, I
think she's kidding. You love this? $11/hr? We are from the same agency, doing the same job and I get a lot more than that. Of course, I've got twenty-some years of verifiable experience and a wholly fabricated Master's degree to go with it. Lying about my education added an easy $150 to my paycheck. Maybe I'll save up some cash and take a few classes. Do they teach Forgery in college? It'd come in handy in case someone wants to see a diploma. Eventually someone is going to wonder why I don't hang mine on my cube like everyone else does.
Hmm... come to think of it, Forgery is soon to become an even bigger black-market cottage industry than it already is -National ID card , anyone?
No comments:
Post a Comment