Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The Unbearable Tiredness of Being

I'm plumb tuckered out, y'all. I'd normally blame it on work or drugs, but I think it's from staying up all night with a certain lovely young woman (over 18, you sickos). I'm starting to like her but she's got a boyfriend. I asked her if she was using me as a way to break up with him.

Yes, she is. Now, that's honesty.

Does she want me around after he's gone?

Maybe. Let's not worry about that now.

OK.

I really appreciate her forthrightness. My desperate self has recently asked a few women out and they all said "sure", call me. So I left unreturned messages until I felt like an angry chump.

So this is what it is, nothing more , nothing less. Could end tomorrow , could last a lifetime, but it's the moment that counts. I wish I'd learned that lesson twenty years ago. For now, we'll see.
She's been in a relationship a long time, and it's been a long time since I was in one- never was very good at it.

I've gotta clean my apartment for her first visit.
---

Early this morning I drove out to my last temp job in order to turn in my passkey and get my papers signed- the NewBoss says, "oh good, you're here. I got you full system access and email. It'll make things easier". He didn't even ask me where I was yesterday. So back to mortgage hell.
I feel like asking ," don't you people know that after the next Great Depression, you are going to lose your jobs and your house and probably your lives as well, once you are conscripted to liberate Iran (or Iraq- it's only a 30-year loan, after all ) or thrown into a privatized debtor's prison that's owned and operated by your creditors? "
I don't ask that, but I probably should.

2 comments:

Herself said...

honesty is like coffee
im not sure how

Allan said...

IPM- it's determining if you meet the criteria for getting slightly lss ripped off.

Tif- it's like coffee because they can both be good or bad, but you cannot live without either.