The Joy of Meetings

Many of my fellow temps are either astonishingly stupid, ridiculously lazy , or both. So much so that my boss asks me what they are doing.
"Well, boss, it looks like he's reading the paper, she's checking her bank account and her ,over there in the corner, she is staring at a blank screen. Why?"

"We're going to have to start letting people go. Tomorrow, I want you and Bonnie (a good temp) to hold a meeting with all the contractors (side: when did they start calling us temps 'contractors'? After a long stint in Homeowner's Insurance , I have come to hate that word) and tell them they need to find work to do here, or find it somewhere else. Then I want you two to make recommendations to me about who we retain."

What the fuck?

I see two reasons for him doing this. Either he's a lousy manager and is just passing the buck to the temps and getting us to do his dirty work for him...
-or-
...it's a test to see how well we can handle management tasks. Rumour has it that Bonnie and I are being considered for real, benefit-providing jobs. Don't know if I'd accept, but I'd like to see what they're offering.

I'm pissed and confused. I've already instructed the temps that I like in the fine art of Looking Busy When There's Nothing To Do. It's pretty easy. It's so fucking simple that no one believes it works, but work it does.
-Start with a clipboard.
-Attach an empty spread sheet to it. In a pinch, use anything that resembles a chart or list, or even blank paper.
-Stride purposefully to a file cabinet. Open it and extract a file at random.
-Open the file and keep looking back and forth between it and the doodles, song lyrics, shopping lists, fantasy sports bets or whatever the hell else you are scribbling on your clipboard.
-Walk briskly to another cabinet and repeat.
-Fax documents to yourself using two in-office fax machines. You can kill a few minutes faxing, and a few more waiting to receive them, and then several more carefully shredding them, one sheet at a time.
-Print out your emails, read them a few times. Highlight random words. Shred.
-If you must socialize, point at documents and flip through random work screens while you talk about sports and weather.
-Every few days , ask the Boss, "I'm finally caught up, is there anything I can help with?"

I know that sounds cynical, but it's how you stretch a 3-day assignment into a 14-month gravy train. 'Course, the work you that you actually do has to be exemplary or the whole process is useless. Gotta play the right cards at the right time, ya know?.
At State Farm, I used to blog at work all the time. On weekends, I was the only one in the office, so I'd sit and watch DVD's all day. On overtime.
But I had to bust ass for months in order to get to that point. It was worth it.

I can't say shit like that during an open meeting. The hell with it. We'll just give 'em the standard Teamwork, Initiative , Productivity etc. spiel. I hate giving that speech. It should be common sense.
For me it's easier to just get my work done, then spend the rest of my 10+ hour shift fucking off. For instance, if the Boss asks you to do something and you can show him that you've already done it, as well as fixing this, that and the other errors, you get high marks at raise time.

Fuck. I have to be at work on time tomorrow because of this damn meeting. I hate that.

On the positive, we had a great Leadership meeting tonight at the radio station. We exchanged new ideas , solutions to certain problems and ratified a new budget procedure that'll make my job way easier. I can buy equipment as I see fit -within reason- without having to submit each request to Finance, wait for approval etc... I get to actively recruit local talent for potential on-air performances-a job I'd already created and delegated to my fave volunteer- and I get to draft a six-month budget for my department. This is great resume-building stuff. My plan is to get a year of Production Director experience under my belt and then shop around. I'd like to work for NPR/PBS if they haven't been gutted by the GOP by then.

It's like living two separate lives- Corporate Hell, which I hate, but it pays the bills, and my volunteer position, which pays nothing, yet I love being part of.

Kudos to my friends at the station. It's a labor of love, in the truest sense. I am honored and proud to be respected and acknowledged as an integral member of our dedicated core staff.
Thanks to all our volunteers and contributors for their work and support.
XOXOXO,
Allan