So I guess I'll just sit here and wait for someone else to save the world.
I'm pretty much a sci-fi geek, but I'm not really clear on what Star Trek event/series of events led to creation of the Federation of Planets. What kind of system is that anyway? Is it a system?
It's like a utopian blend of Marxism, Globalism (Universalism?), Technocracy, Colonialism ,Socialism and some sort of vague (to me) Parliamentary Council Rule- but I'm not sure if they are elected or appointed. All the shape-shifting and time-traveling makes it very confusing. At least I've never heard the Electoral College mentioned on Star Trek.
(Digression: I hate Time-Machines. The first time was great, but the TM has since become a sad device for advancing otherwise unworkable plots and storylines. Enough with the time travel already!)
But on the spaceships, it's like a high-tech Marxist commune with a strict militaristic hierarchy of command. Everyone does the job they are best suited for. All personal needs are supplied by the State (Federation) , so there is no currency. Everyone is fulfilled and content- life is so good that they've even removed alcohol from liqour. This sort of thing could never happen. People are inherently rotten, so some vicious, petty bastard would take over and ruin everything. That always happens in real-life.
So how about Superman? Can't he rescue us? Don't be silly. Just be glad that there isn't really a Superman. He'd be the Enforcer for Dick Chene...er...I mean Lex Luthor. Nah, I meant Dick Cheney. Our current administration would probably wind up with Bizarro Superman, who would destroy everything and then get a Medal of Bizarro Freedom for his accomplishments.
Forget about Batman and Spidey and all the other little guys. Those guys can't even get laid. A Billionaire Philanthropist and a journalist with integrity? Let me know when you find these creatures. I will trade you my breeding pair of Dodo birds for them.
How about Godzilla and his ilk? I saw an old newsreel with the somewhat reactionary title 'Destroy All Monsters!' a while ago, and apparently a mutant menagerie of giant radioactive monsters started trashing cities all over the world. This must have been a long time ago, because there isn't any cam-corder footage , just some grainy film I saw on the History Channel at 3 a.m. in a San Diego hotel. I forget how-I was drinking at the time- but somehow all the nations of the world banded together and stopped the monsters. Everyone was getting along-except the 10 million or so dead people. They didn't even get a statue or a theme park or anything.
This was a long time ago, but you don't hear it mentioned on the news much these days. The Japanese aren't quite as squeamish about the Bomb as they used to be, but they'd like to wipe Monster Island off the history books forever. If you don't believe me, check this. The Japanese are really good at historical revision, which is odd, since history is traditionally written by the victors.
Jesus? Have you even glanced at Revelations? YIKES! I'd rather be invaded by Martians than caught up in the Cross-Fire of Armageddon. I doubt that many (if any) self-professed christians are actually virtuous enough for Ascension. This means that everybody gets "Left Behind", not just poor black children. Stuck on Earth with billions of religious fundamentalists with marginal personalities and apocalypse fetishes? That sure sounds like Hell to me. Sarte was right, he just didn't grasp the scale.
The only ones who seem to having a good time in this pic are the guys sporting horns on their heads. Even the naked people in heaven look miserable, which makes sense. If the way to heaven involves guilt, abstinence and sexual repression, then you probably ain't gettin' any in the after-life either. And that's for Eternity. Even my dry spells don't last that long.
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