Congress Acts To Save Marriage

WASHINGTON- Remaining in a decades-long emergency session, Congress today passed a last minute resolution to use Federal authority in what some call a last-ditch effort to get Sid and Nancy Luntz of Wheat Hill, Nebraska, to at least talk things over one more time.
The Luntz's have been in the national spotlight since their marriage started heading south late in the winter of 2018. The Luntz's 2020 trial separation caused Congress to pass the Enforcement of Marriage Act, which banned divorce and gave the government the right to arrange involuntary marriages for citizens it suspects of being single or homosexual.

The Luntz Bill allows the couple to be detained at an off-shore Dept. of Morality (DOM) facility, where they will be held in adjoining cells until they can "sort things out", according to Rep. Jeff Weise (R-MN) , who, along with wife and fellow Representative Ann Coulter, brought the bill to the floor. "People should get married and stay that way, period", said Rep. Coulter,"they should know that there are consequences if they don't. " Coulter did not elaborate.

Mr. Luntz , 28, a former engineer and taxi driver, has been a fugitive since May of 2024 , when the DOM discovered that he had applied to the Canadian government for divorce and asylum. He is thought to hiding in the Toronto area.
President Jenna Bush recently sent a message to the Canadians, saying that "no options were under the table" when it came to locating and capturing Mr. Luntz. The President took her hair out of her mouth long enough to say, " I think I know some hockey fans who need to have freedom spread on them, if you know what I mean."


Mrs. Luntz, a 27 year-old pre-school teacher, has been unreachable for comment since a DOM strike team captured her last summer at her Wheat Hill classroom during what it termed Operation Clean Sweep. Her status is unknown.