Dear NSA ( w/ HOLYSHIT UPDATE!!)

Ever wonder if someone you don't know- the NSA, for example- is reading your email?
I wonder.
I'm gonna find out.

Here's how: (you'll need a host)

- First create a 'junk' document and upload it to your host files.

-Next, craft an email letter replete with catchy phrases such as "car bomb",
"assassinate", "spent fuel rods", "Ann Coulter's Pocket Rocket" etc.
Hyperlink each phrase to your junk document.

-Send your email to a political dissident in another country. I'm thinking of using a penpal in Australia for this trial. Make sure they are warned in advance not to click on the links.

-Wait a day or so and check your web stats. See if your junk doc received any 'hits'. If so, check the IP and referring URL. If the traffic came from your penpal's IP, send them another email asking them why the hell they can't follow simple instructions, i.e., don't click the link!

If the 'hits' come from anywhere else, you'll know that someone somewhere has read your mail and clicked on the links.
Expect trouble.
Ask your overseas penpal if you can crash on their couch until the reins of governmental power are pried from the bloody Hands of Evil.

Update:
The email seems to have gone through unread. That's good.
-BUT-
Someone at 'IP unknown/blocked' spent 17hrs and 48 min downloading what looks like my entire Blogger archive along with every file on my tiny website . The only people I know who have computers that run that slowly are my employers and the Federal Government. Neither is good.

Should I disappear, let me say that it's been great knowing you. I'll think of you while they waterboard me in Gitmo. Perhaps your memory will provide me with the strength I need to endure my hard-earned privations and punishments.