One Man's Pendulum is Another Man's Pit

Almost nothing pisses me off more than bullshit self-help charts and motivational slogans.
Present me with something like the above chart and I will be polite and smile, but I will secretly consider you to be not-as-bright-as-hoped-for and our relationship will be forever strained as a result.
So don't send me shit like this.
Did you bother to consider the choices here? This chart makes no fucking sense at all - please explain how "Profound Knowledge" is the mid-point between "Data" and "Emotion and Experience"? What crap.
If the person who drew this had any fucking idea what words actually mean, they would have moved Experience over to the left with Data. (1.Factual information, esp. information organized for analysis)
For example: You touch a hot stove and get burned. Your brain (which is a lot like a computer) stores that experience as data ,which your brain unconsciously cross-references with other data - such as pain, heat, blisters and first aid.Some of this data may cause an emotional change or response. In this case, Emotion can be expressed as Fear of Getting Burnt.
Hopefully, the combination of data and emotion will pay off and you'll use an oven glove next time. "Profound Knowledge", my ass.

Anyway, I've got my own charts:

Translation: Go for it- but be flexible. I hate to sound like an addled Objectivist, but quite simply, one must Adapt or be Destroyed.
Unless you are born rich, in which case you probably need a shrink. Hire me. I'll fix you up good.
By the time you finish MY program you'll be so muddled, medicated and generally exploited that your Pendulum will look like this:


But you will be happier than you were before. Or at least I will, and that's really the important thing. To me.

Speaking of my happiness, I've taken the time to "chart out" some of my "stressors". I'm told this is a useful tool for recovery. It's uneccesarily complicated bullshit that I painted over a simple math diagram. Why people love this sort of thing eludes me, but they are popular. I made this up in two minutes but it's fairly plausible-looking,is it not? To wit:



But really it's just another way of saying "Deal With It"- other than a schizoid break from reality, horrible addictions or suicide, what choice do we have?

Sweet Jesus, but I hate discovery /recovery/ self-development claptrap. I hate it so much that given a substantial cash infusion, I'd start a cult in some remote hideaway and get rich making up bullshit-at least until my wacked-out teenage disciples committed some horribly anti-social crime. After that happens I will stop laughing and feel remorse- only it'll be too late.
I digress.

Programs don't work for me.
You know what I kept hearing after I quit drinking? AA devotees say," don't even think about a sexual relationship until you've been sober for one year."

Talk about easier to say than do!

I mean, I've been sober for six months now and with each passing day I find it increasingly difficult to think about anything but sexual relationships. Every possible style, in every possible way, anywhere, anytime... If another six months passes like that, I might as well go back to drinking.
One year? Man, I've been there before and trust me, it's no fun. Doing so on purpose? No way!

Here's MY program for myself:

Tomorrow: I begin my internship at a top-flight production studio. This is a big step towards achieving my personal, career and artistic goals.Those three goals are closely tied to each other. I've worked my ass off for over a year to get there and I intend on making this work.
I won't be stopped.

Monday: I joined a Scrabble League I found at meetup.com . It meets Monday. It's 95% women and the one guy looked like a total nerd goofus. (My kinda guy, really)
Even nerd goofus' need lovin' and I bet that guy is doing really well for himself. He should be. Love a nerd and it will love you back in ways you never thought possible- it'll be more intense because you might not expect such passion from a Scrabble geek.
My experience tells me that Scrabble is an amazingly accurate gauge of sexual compatability - far better than these crap-ass "Dating Services". (More on these later)
If I can't get laid at a Scrabble League I might as well give up entirely, join the Great Unlaid, start dressing like a Klingon and attend Star Trek conventions, Magic:the Gathering tournaments or some other such asexual pursuit.
Scrabble is not like those other things.
Scrabble, played between the right persons , can be a deeply erotic experience-a sort of foreplay, if you will.
Of course, if you haven't been laid for six months, even washing the dishes can be a deeply erotic experience.
Oh, dishes...suds me up, baby!...sigh...oh... SOAP!... aaaahhhh....

I need to be alone now.