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What party? What parade?
For Elliot! The parade for Elliot! Elliot (some last name i immediately forget)
Who? The room goes silent for a moment
Cabbages giggle uncomfortably - Don't you watch American Idol?
No. Never have.
SILENCE -I've denied the existence of God. Time passes with the urgent discomfort of a kidney stone.
(Cabbages in unison) BUT HE'S FROM FALLENTOWN! There's a big party outside this afternoon, and then a parade and then he's throwing out the first pitch at the ballgame...blah... blah...blah...but he's not singing the National Anthem.
He's singing some famous current hit I've never heard of.
The Cabbages want Elliot to sing the Anthem.
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It does seem odd that a local guy who is famous for 'singing' would appear at a baseball game and NOT sing the Star Spangled Banner.
On second thought it's not odd at all. I KNOW why Elliot is not singing the SSB. I pass this knowledge along to the Cabbages.
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He's not singing the National Anthem because the SSB is a really, really hard song to sing. No backing music, no light show, no dancers- just you, a microphone and a song with a remarkably uncatchy melody for such an enduring piece. He probably can't sing it, I add silently.
Call me Pontius.
But Elliot is in 3rd place! He's a great singer!
There is much Cabbaging in defense of Elliot.
Well, he's getting a parade so he must be great! Yeah! Yeah!
Besides it's good for Fallentown to have a hero. Yeah! Yeah!
We love a parade! Yeah Yeah! ( We get out of work early and you dont, n'yahhh!!)
Uh oh. It's suddenly me vs. Cabbages. Not a fair fight. I feel sorry for the Cabbages.
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Let me back up a little bit at this point.
Last week a box appeared in the breakroom. It's covered in Red White and Blue contact paper.
There's a note attached to it.
The note informs us that the Gulf War (I&II) Veterans at the local VA hospital are in dire need of such items as combs, nail clippers, soap, reading materials and clothing.
Please place these items in the box and help our veterans.
This has been pissing me off for days.
This is how our war-horny nation of blind aggressors repay the soldiers who risked their lives in a war that no one can justify?
Doesn't the VA have the budget to supply our soldiers with combs and soap?
I hate the war, no mistake there, but I don't hate the soldiers. I want them to be taken care of.
This box infuriates me. It should not exist.
I am so sick of war and stupidity. Tired. Angry.
All of this anger coalesces into a white-phosphorus explosion-no- an implosion really, as the inside of my skull absorbs the brunt of the blast and everything shrinks into a blazing point of rage.
I walk over to the box and I start making mistakes.
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Look at this. (I rattle the motley assortment of toiletries. )
This is how we honor our soldiers.
We force them to beg for scraps of soap in the breakrooms of corporations that profit from the trade in war.
Welcome home!
Here's your first hot shower in weeks- sorry, we are out of soap, but I guess you are used to that.
After all we sent you into war without the equipment , numbers or planning you needed.
Why should we give a shit about you when you get home?
You won't need a comb- all that depleted uranium you've been exposed to is going to make you lose all your hair anyway.
And your teeth.
Your children will be deformed and diseased. So will their children.
This war is so evil it even destroys your DNA. Your Future.
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I've got this crazy image of myself as Martin Luther with a hydraulic nailgun, but to the Cabbages I'm a Centurion with a mallet and stakes.
Bam!
Right through the palms of Christ!
I can't stop it . I keep freaking out.
I see fear. Confusion. Anger. I don't see any understanding.
I'm being very clear and precise with my words because I want to see that understanding.
I realize that it's not there.
I can't stop. I wish I could , but I'm gone.
I slam the box down and keep talking.
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I thrust a spear into Jesus and twist it savagely. He's too far gone to forgive me.
Does it strike any of you as strange that we have a series of celebrations for some guy that has done nothing more than be really good at Karaoke, yet we can't provide basic neccesities for the soldiers who've been getting shot at while you watch American Idol?
We have homecoming parades for a Karaoke King but our troops come home unannounced, the dead return under a curtain of media secrecy and the living aren't provided with so much as a lousy toothbrush.Do you see that this is wrong?
Do you?
DO YOU?
They don't understand what I'm saying. Why? It's so clear. It's so clear!
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Now I've really gone too far. The Cabbages attempt to disperse. I stand by the doorway and don't move. They are going to have to pass very close to the crazy man if they want to leave.
They squeeze past me.
Blond Cabbage gives me a look- it's not quite understanding, but I think she trying to think- she's struggling with something.
I look her in the eyes.
She averts her gaze and pushes past. Something is mumbled but I don't catch it.
I bet I get fired on Monday.
6 comments:
don't forget to breathe allan and for the sake of all that is good in the world GET that helmet OFF!
Did you hear what Doug "the Thug" Wilders's praise for Elliot? He said, "He is an ambassador for all of us, for all Virginians." He actually said more, something to the effect that Elliot is the most important person ever to make it big outside of Fallentown.
He guess he does not include (among others) Arthur Ashe, Tom Robbins, or Edgar Allen Poe. And what about GWAR?
Anyway, this from an African American man who stood up and SALUTED the R.E. Lee banner on the Canal Walk. That is, the banner that used to be on the Canal Walk until some one torched it.
By the way, I want another guess at the contest, even if I'm not eligible.
I hate to tell you but it is SO true that the basic essentials like soap are scarce. It really pisses me off too. When I was a medic in the AF, our treatment of active duty and vets in our hospitals really was good in the beginning. We had supplies, we had lots of specialists, etc. Unfortunately during the Clinton administration, the whole govt wasteful spending that Gore went after also included military medical care. I shit you not when I say I literally would sometimes hit every ward in the hospital trying to scrounge up stuff like soap and combs. See, those aren't "necessary". Our military healthcare system just continued to plummet until I got out in 1999. When hospital administrators come to talk to hospital personnel about business cycles and costs, you know something is way f***ed up. My thinking was always that military health was not a business, it was a necessity and a form of gratitude. I realized it had changed and all our AD and vets would suffer for it. It used to be I could tell someone who didn't come from money or a life of options that the military gave me a lot of options and that it would also 'take care of you' in many respects. Now I tell folks about trade schools and non-profit organizations that can help you because the military is the last place you want to be. More and more of our politicians have never served in the military. There are some who have, and some who have been touched by that lifestyle and are thoughtful to care for service members. But so many have not and it's so easy to be ignorant or cost-effective when you don't really understand what closing a base, cutting veteran's benefits, and taking care of our wounded really really means. The military recruitment has been declining for quite a number of years. Many blame it on the war and I'm sure that is a little of it, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out when you, your friends, your family is getting shafted over and over. You can't sell patriotism to the masses when greed and corruption become so overwhelming. Military folk have their own kind of society in a way, and hence it forms a unique mindset, camaraderie, and a sense of we take care of our own. It's getting harder to maintain that.
On the American Idol note, I've watched a couple episodes and the best singer got voted off like a week ago.
Beth,
I've been wondering about Wilder's sanity for years- even before the flag-thing.
Pat Benatar and NFL Hall-of-Famer Willie Lanier are also from Fallentown and I've seen them both perform.
My life w/GWAR will eventually get a post I'm sure...unti then- "what about GWAR", indeed?
If you want a second chance you will have to call me and beg for it!
( I think I've been waiting my entire life to use that line)
Susanne-
Damn. Glad you got out when you did.
Recruitment will go up as a new cycle of hopeless poverty and endless wars creates new fodder with 'unlimited options': Iran, Iraq, Afghnistan,Mexico etc..
Beth- OOPS!
Almost missed this- you wrote
"Edgar Allen Poe" when in fact, it's
Edgar ALLAN Poe" as I am his namesake.
It's true- the Twin's middle name is
'Edgar'.
I'm not sure mere begging is enough to atone for this egregious oversight on your part.
Pleading may be in order.
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