Sunday, May 07, 2006

My Advice

I'm at the station this morning and there's this young kid in the kitchen telling several people about this girl he's in love with and how he plans on approaching her- I'm nosy, so I listen in.

Holy Bloody Valentine!
There's someone alive who knows less about the whole modern mating ritual than I do. A lot less.
He's asking the older folks for advice.
I'm one of the older folks.

Things must be bad for the kid, because asking me for relationship advice is like asking an anchor for swimming lessons. I am not the counsel of last resort but I really should be.

Anyway, the kid's on Ritalin or something so he's not making much sense, but it seems he's been seeing this chick around campus for a year and finally approached her and told her -he is totally sincere-he's young and dumb enough to actually believe in shit like this- so get this: he tells her that "his soul knows her soul" and that they are meant to be together.

Mind you, they've never spoken before.

This approach frightens off his love interest. Funny thing, huh?
Go figure.

Some advice is given by us Old Folks

Old Guy: Maybe next time you should ask her out first.

Kid: Out? Like to what? Dinner?

Me: Dinner is always good.

Old Girl: Yeah. Dinner is better than movies.

Kid: Eat? But I eat all the time. Eating isn't special.

Us Old Folks all look at each other. Oh, the folly of youth.

Old Girl: You have to make it special.

Me: Nothing's better, man. It's a ritual for a reason.

Old Guy: Don't tell her how you feel about her before you go on a date.

Old Girl: No offense, but if some guy said that to me I'd probably smack him. Or are you intentionally trying to date really stupid girls?

OUCH!

Old Guy and Me: Dude, just get in a band. Make them want you.

Kid: But I want someone who likes me for more than my music.

Old Guy and I are both passionate guitarists. We look at each other like- there's more? We are our music. This kid is daft.


Hours later I have another conversation- the bulk of which is no one's business, but it does make me wonder just what the hell my fellow men are thinking when they talk to women. They make me sound sane by comparision.

The gist of it was this:

This guy is telling his girlfriend-on the phone- that their love will last forever and all that eternal stuff- I don't know the guy, but he may really mean it, i dunno- but the point is - while he's telling her about the eternal love , she is having an IM conversation with some other guy about an unrelated subject.

So dude, you are spilling your guts to the woman you claim to love and even that doesn't hold her full attention? Sorry guy, but I don't think it's gonna work out.

I think about these guys for a while and I make a decision. The next time I meet someone I get along with and isn't attached , I will ask them if they'd like to have coffee or dinner depending on the circumstance.

How radical.

4 comments:

Allan said...

Funny thing is , I know all that- we old folks had quite a bit of fun laughing at the kid about it after he left.

It was pretty funny until I realized that no one fancies me.

em0 said...

Wow, I feel really sorry for that last guy. Just doesn't seem to work.

Susannity said...

I don't know, "my soul knows your soul" is kinda romantic. It would all depend on how he followed it up that would make me determine if he was a romantic type or a Hinckley type heh. From the sounds of the fact that he didn't actually ask her out to get to know her better, I would guess the girl thought he was the latter.

I really hate the cell phone and IM stuff nowadays (omg I sound like a fuddy duddy) so the second one sounds especially heinous to me. I've been meaning to blog about it heh.

Allan said...

Em- well, if you knew the woman in question you'd understand how the poor sucker could feel that way...

Susanne- yeah, that's very romantic to say after you've spent some time together- sometimes it's even TRUE- but he just walked up to her and said that. She didn't even know who he was and was kinda freaked out.

Yes, do blog about that- I've been meaning to write about 'chat' stuff too...more to follow