(Note: I hope this finds my friends in the NE high, dry and safely away from the current floods. This post is from 01/05/05 - after the Pacific Tsunami, but well before Katrina. )
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Imagine planet Earth as a living , sentient being; Gaea, or Earth Goddess ,if you will. It's hardly an original thought ( although it may well be the Original. Let's anthropomorphisize /deify the rest of the planers while we're at it. This makes as much sense as any other belief system- maybe more than most.
Let's travel back in time about umpteen billion years. The Sun's having a party and everyone's invited. It's fun for a couple billion years, but eventually the other planets can't help but notice that Terra's getting all the attention. Why shouldn't she? She's a hottie.
It's the blue.
Jupiter and Saturn make their respective moves.
Terra ignores them, so they go somewhere and get in a fight. After considerable time passes, they make up, have a couple beers and start making cracks about Uranus, but that's not relevant to the story at hand...
Mars, being the primordial Alpha-Male, cuts in, all smooth talk and starry promises. Venus drifts away, but Terra is smitten. Poor naive Earth.
What begins as as a cosmic one-nighter turns into a really bad co-dependent relationship, creating the Asteroid Belt as a prototypical example of grand-scale emotional baggage. Mars starts taking little pills that make him very boring and useless, so Terra gets custody of the Moon; Luna being the only good thing to come of their union.
Still reeling from the spiked punch at the Big Bang, Terra takes a long nap. She has uneasy dreams about giant lizards. Ever slept with someone who thrashes and talks while they're asleep? They got nuthin' on Terra.
Anyway, after a while she wakes up, feeling like a cosmic piece of sharphorn shit. She can feel continents shifting in her belly, threatening to become incontinence.
Urp! Kiss Pompeii goodbye.
Braap! Hello Black Death.
Yak!155,000 humans washed away by that first sour mouthful of pre-vomit bile.
Terra feels like she's going to get very sick, very soon.
4 comments:
lol Charlie.
I live in the Seattle area and I must say our weather has been unusual the last few years. We even had a convention or something with the brains that know global warming, etc much better than I because of the summer weather we had last winter for like a month. This spring and summer have been humid as hell up here which is also really strange. ps - we have had 90+ degree weather here but haven't used the AC once. I don't like to use it (the house had one when we bought it).
Allan,
I would like the name of your physician... your meds need to be adjusted... immediately.
Yak!
amy
Susanne,I also have not fired up my AC, not once. Not because I'm eco-friendly, I just can't afford a $300 power bill.
Amy-yak? I have gnus for you- It's clearly stated I wrote that 18 months ago, at which time my meds DID need serious adjusting. So I'm crazy. So what?
Ooops, Sorry Charlie-
What a stupid cycle eh? I think I'll move further North or deep underground, or both. Lost World, here I come!
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