Get off my Shroud/ Banana Splits Reunion

It's hard for me to write when I'm happy- I'm usually busy doing whatever is it that makes me happy and by the time I'm done with the happy-thing my mood has changed to something between mere maudlin longing and the hopeless, suicidal despair of the chronically heartbroken poet.

But the truth is, I'm about as happy as I've ever been- which is not very- but at least it's a little bit happy.
It's vast improvement over the old Allan, a miserable wretch who knew full well that he was drinking himself to death and didn't care.
Yeah, that's right. I was fucking killing myself and I knew it, but every day I bought a new bottle- I'm sure those shooting pains in my gut will stop if I can keep this vodka down...
take my advice: If you must kill yourself, don't drink yourself to death. It's too much heartache for the people around you. It's not pretty.
Don't use a gun either.
Rub yourself down with herring oil, fill your pockets with stones and leap off the deck of a cruise ship in shark-infested waters. Let nature do it's work and you'll save your survivors a bundle in funeral costs. Plus, you'll make Headline News.

Or not. I'm just sayin'- don't let me talk you out of it, but at least have some consideration for the people you leave behind.

Why do such a terrible thing anyway?

What you should do is accept my offer of a ride in the country. Yes, I know that gas is expensive, but it's worth it for an afternoon of relative sanity and bright, sunny cheer.
I'll make a great picnic basket and we can sit in the shade near ( I know a spot) and laugh at how stupid our daily grief really is.
Have some wine, if you like- I'm driving.

I won't kiss you unless you want me to.

Maybe you will feel like kissing me after I show you what I keep in my car's glovebox.

Huh? What were you thinking?

Go on- look... see?

It's full of bubbles!

It really is- there's bubblewrap and bubble-blowin' soap in there. Dig in!
AND...
A BONUS...

Listen!


I have arranged a Reunion Concert by the one-and-only Banana Splits, who will serenade us as we share a romantic and nutritionally sensible meal down by the water's edge.

How can you resist?
You can't.
I can fail to ask though.
I'll ask.
Rejection doesn't sting as much when I'm sober.

Besides- I know how to play this song- and I've got a box of bubbles to go with it!



Tra la la, tra lala la, tra la la.....



One banana, two banana, three banana, four
Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more.
Over hill and highway the banana buggies go
Comin' to bring you the Banana Split show
Makin' up a mess of fun, makin' up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone




Four banana, three banana, two banana, one
All bananas playin' in the bright warm sun.
Flippin' like a pancake, popping like a cork
Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper an' Snork





Two banana, four banana, one banana, three
Swingin' like a bunch on monkeys, hangin' from a tree.
Hey there, ev'rybody, won't you come along and see
How much like Banana Splits ev'ryone can be


with thanks to
and also