Not 1962

Would someone please tell our 'mainstream' news that there is no such thing as
a "North Korean Missile Crisis"; that this is not 1962 and the fate of the world does not hang on a deadly standoff between two superpowers?

Remember the Cuban Missile Crisis?
October, 1962.
Russian missiles ninety miles from Miami. Missiles that actually worked properly.
An overlooked tidbit: America attempted one of the least-covert secret coups of all time
less than a year before the discovery of Russian nukes in Cuba. Those missiles didn't get there by accident. They were meant to prevent another invasion. The Cold War was very, very hot back then.



Calling the Korean problem a "Missile Crisis" is akin to calling a stopped-up toilet an "Environmental Catastrophe". It's a bit of exaggeration, to say the least.

Lil' Kim whipped out his tiny dick, made a big show off pissing about and got exactly what he wanted- the breathless attention of the American media.
Oooo...big bad Lil' Kim.
Let's all be afraid of Lil' Kim and North Korea- jesus, I know bouncers who could kick North Korea's ass...oh ...nevermind.
Those bouncers are unavailable.
They are stationed in Iraq right now.
Do ya think Lil' Kim would be doing his pecker-dance if we hadn't blown our international credibility by invading Iraq ?
No, he wouldn't.
If we hadn't invaded Iraq under false pretenses, the world-at-large wouldn't give a rat's ass if we sent a couple of Cruise missiles into Lil' Kim's bedroom.
He is not a popular man, this Kim.
Now?
Not an option. For some reason America is not as popular as it used to be.
A nation like, oh I dunno, China , let's say, might fight back.
Financially, not militarily, of course. People will die regardless.

Still, let's be realistic. We are talking about North Korea and SCUD missiles, not global nuclear conflict- NK is one of the poorest, most isolated nations on Earth- it took Lil' Kim many years to get a pitiful handful of Soviet-surplus crap rockets together - and they didn't even work properly.

Some 'Crisis'.


In 1962 we were this close to real-life, honest-to-gosh WMD warfare. The kind with real mushroom clouds and fallout that is more than political.

How do you think George W. Bush would have handled the Cuban Missile Crisis?

I think we'd be living in Gamma World.


I'm afraid one of Kim's 1960's vintage SCUDs might land in the Pacific and accidentally kill a whale. That's the extent of my fear of North Korean missiles. Maybe we should fight the SCUDS in the Pacific so we don't have to fight them in Kansas...fuck, you'd be lucky to hit Kansas with a SCUD if you launched it from Missouri.
Those are some seriously obsolete missiles, dude.



Oooo.... SCARY!!!


I used to wonder how demented goat- fuckers without a scrap of ability or charisma managed to become leaders of nations, heads-of-state etc... but that was before 2000. And 2004.
Nowadays, nothing surprises me.

Not even this.

The Central Intelligence Agency has closed a unit that for a decade had the mission of hunting Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenants, intelligence officials confirmed Monday.

"The efforts to find Osama bin Laden are more trouble than it's worth," said Jennifer Millerwise Dyck, a C.I.A. spokeswoman. "This is a fragile agency, all of the competent operatives have either been 'outed' by the Bush administration or have long since resigned in disgust. The decision to disband Alec Station was made to ensure greater availability of funds and resources to protect America from more pressing dangers, such as gay marriage, flag burning and the estate tax."

(Note: If you are going to announce a truly mind-boggling change in foreign intelligence policy, don't have someone named 'Millerwise Dyck' act as your spokesperson. Not sure how Dyck is pronounced, but either way it's hard to take seriously)


The same administration that blew a gasket when the New York Times leaked a story about a the government tracking of international banking - a "secret" plan that was public knowledge already- has now decided to publicly disband the CIA unit assigned to track Osama bin Forgotten.
I can only wonder at what the reasoning behind this is- I'm tempted to think it's part of a larger dis-information/ mis-information campaign- which it surely is- but to what ends?
To lull Osama into a false sense of complacency?
It's painfully clear that Osama is either:

a) A hell of a lot smarter than our entire CIA

OR

b) Under the protection of somebody powerful. Somebody a lot more powerful than Lil' Kim.


How about this:
-Osama is wealthy.
-Lil' Kim has more money problems than Michael Jackson.
-Kim has something Osama wants.
-Osama understands how missiles work.

That is scary.