Scalped

Last night I dreamed that I was using a shaving razor to remove my scalp. I was shaving my head just as I normally do, but instead of removing the stubble, the disposable razor was peeling my skin off, exposing my skull. I watched myself in the mirror. In the dream , I notice that I have hair. Long curly hair, it's coming out in clumps. Chemo, I was thinking.

I couldn't stop myself, but it didn't hurt. In my dream, I somehow knew that I was drunk, which is not so weird- I haven't had a drink for over a year now ( whew!), but I do dream about it, and never in a good way.
I felt really bad about relapsing too, but even my drunken dreamself realized that skinning myself was overdoing the guilt just a bit. Thing was, my thoughts had no connection to my actions. I could feel the desire to stop, but that's all I could feel. No fingers, no tongue, and if what I saw in the mirror was accurate, no skin above my former hairline.
I wanted to drop the blade and run across the street to the hospital - oh, shit, I thought- does anyone know how long you can live without a scalp? Should I pack it on ice?
Maybe I can Google it and find out. I actually thought that-crazy, I know, knew even.
But I couldn't do any typing. I was busy cutting myself.
It got rather gory before I woke up.
After that , I couldn't go back to sleep.