Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Poisoned

I felt terrible this morning. I had a stomach-ache that woke me up around 1am, I went back to bed...before daybreak I was in agony. It felt like my intestines were inside a giant, clenching fist. There was a special vise just for my balls.
Clench and twist.
Clench...
Twist...
Oh hell. It hurts so bad I can't help but moan.
My body is planning it's exit strategy, Plans A and B seem to be already in motion- gotta move quick...
I sit on the toilet and lean my head over onto the sink, splashing some cool water on my sweaty face. In the mirror, I am as grey as a space alien.
This must be food poisoning, I think to myself. I've had a life-threatening gastric incident and it hurt a hell of a lot more than this,which is saying a lot. This hurts, but it doesn't feel fatal- I know what dying feels like and this, fortunately, ain't it.

I start feeling a little better, but I can tell I'm going to be in here a while. If I stretch, I can reach a couple of comic books from here.
See? I can't be all that sick- I'm thinking about reading something.
Reach...

I wake up on the bathroom floor- I'm not sure where I am for a minute. I taste blood and my head really hurts...did I start drinking again?

My guts use 'pretzel' as a verb. The pain clears my head. I must've passed out when I stood up to grab the comics. I'm still sober...I'm not even stoned. I'm just sick. Poisoned.

I spit blood into the sink- I almost panic, but I realize that I've simply bitten my tongue.
There's a welt on my forehead. I wonder if I hit the tub or the floor?
Do I have a concussion? Maybe I should go to hospital...but even with insurance, I am already in deep medical debt - and there's nothing they can really do anyway- as I said, I can just tell
that I will survive this.

I clean myself up and go back to bed. I can't sleep, my heartbeat seems erratic...fuck, I am having a panic attack after all...if I take my pills at this hour ( 5am) I'll be too groggy to work. If I don't take them, I'll spend the next couple hours in a state of nearly immobile mental meltdown and I won't make it in to the office either.

Oh crap. It's suddenly 9AM. I can't even remember what decision I made regarding my meds, but it doesn't matter- either way I was going to feel just like I do , which is fucked-up.

I'm still grey, but there's at least a hint of pink to my skin. The fist and the vise have relaxed their grip a bit, but I'm nowhere near being functional.
I barely manage to call work.
It must be a slow day, because the boss starts telling me 'war stories' of famous Kansan gastric disasters.
Normally, I like my boss' sense of humour, but I'm already trying really hard not to shit myself and I don't think, in this particular case, that laughter is the best medicine.
Gotta go! Click.

After, I lie down for a few minutes. A few minutes become a few hours.
I feel OK now.
A little shaky, but I ate some rice and a couple bananas - I'm actually trying some coffee at this point-slowly- so I think everything is going to be alright. The whole ordeal seems to have lasted under twelve hours.
I'm glad I didn't go to hospital. If I had, I'd probably still be in there, despite feeling much better.

Funny thing , back when I was drinking, I always felt worse than I do now, yet I managed to get to work etc...every single day.
I'm much happier being sick once or twice a year than I was when I was drunk every single day. How did I cope with feeling so bad all the time? Not very well, I'm afraid.
Still, I'm sick now and I can't deal with any part of my daily routine that requires being fully dressed.
Another nap is needed.

Tomorrow I should be OK again.

8 comments:

Citymouse said...

wow, your like the third blogger sick this week! do you think there is a virus going around?

hope you feel better.

apositivepessimist said...

you ate the bloody lettuce dinya? [re...slings post]

but daaamn...yer poor bugger. may you be over it real soon...perhaps you can pass it on to someone else, like my blasted neighbour for example ;)

pssst...yes, sorry my bad I should have mentioned on my post that in that box with the lines there should have been a number...that's the number that you click in the list of four to get to the next blog in order to receive yer credit.

Middle Child said...

Yes take care and drinklots of water...but if you live in an artificially fluoridated area pay the extra for spring water...fluoridated water can really bugger up your guts...and its accumulative... so as charlie sas take care ok.

Anonymous said...

lots of steaming hot tea with ginger and raw garlic if you like the taste and your stomach is used to it. drink lots of hot water in small amounst so as not to over tax your kidneys.

and of course a nap with some nice light jazz playing helps to reconfigure your hard drive.

a little tactile stimulation from a friend like ruby does wonders for the soul.

Anonymous said...

hope that vise lets go of your balls on a permanent basis. holy intestinal virus, batman. feel better, Allan.

Anonymous said...

Jesus fuckin' nailholes dude!
hopefully,you just got hold of some of them "generic" E-coli's..
Tkae care,and get well soon!

Allan said...

thanks everyone, I feel much better now...except for all the new torments...woe , woe...

yellowdoggranny said...

ohh glad your feeling better..but when you have stomach troubles like that..coffee is bad for you..drink tea..and it may taste gross, but green tea is even better..