Dances With Ghosts

I've already mentioned how tickled I was that my blogpal Barb actually took the time to listen to my radio show- but I didn't know the whole story.

At the same time that my NJ pal was streaming in I had another listener- one who didn't call. This listener didn't even tell me that they had tuned in until today- it was a total surprise.

It turns out that my Grandmother was listening on my Dad's new laptop!
I had put a bookmark on it for him; I had no idea that she'd listen, but when I went home this morning, she was smiling at me like she had a secret...

"What's up?"

"I watched you on the computer last Sunday morning. You sounded really professional. I had no idea you were so good."

Of course, I know she meant 'listened', and I'm not actually that good, but I felt truly proud at that moment. My grannie got to listen to me doing what I love- and she liked it!

I can imagine her at church, telling hung-over Lutherans about what a radio star her grandson is, and the thought makes me feel good.
In real-life I may be a mere Tater Tot, but to my Grannie I'm a Star, a Big Potato- and that is good enough for me.
It's the best feeling I've had in quite a while.

For most of my life, I didn't do much that I could share with my family and now I hardly have any family left to share with- but my Grannie is still here, she still loves me and I got to share my love of radio with her.

Soon, I'm afraid, my family will be even smaller than it is now, but for today I'm very thankful that my Grannie got to hear my show.

Through the magic of the Interweb, it was as if she was right there in the booth with me, hanging on my every word, humming along to Tom Waits and Jethro Tull- and I didn't even know it!

She said she was afraid I'd get myself in trouble- I'm prone to making very opinionated on-air comments about BushCo and the war- but I could tell she was actually quite proud that I have the gumption to make such statements.
She, like her Pastor and her church, are vehemently anti-war and anti-Bush, which takes a lot of spine in the Heavy Red town she lives in. I'm proud of her for standing up to the majority mindset.

I wonder if my Grandad, my other Grandma and my Mom listen to my show? I like to think so.

Believe me, I'd dance around the radio studios a lot less if I thought people were watching- except for my family, of course.

I can dance with them. A jig, even.

And when I say: "this one goes out to the ones I love", I mean it.