Ripley's Comet

My cousin G has what polite people would refer to as 'issues'.
A more honest term might be"borderline sociopath".
G is always destroying things- at the height of his parent's nasty divorce proceedings their house burned down -during the subsequent investigations a home BetaMax video made by a then 10-year old G was found.
In it , he re-creates scenes from Apocalypse Now using toy soldiers, model aircraft and homemade napalm, which he helpfully explains how to make in the film's introduction.
I can't bring myself to describe the final scene, suffice it to say that I will never name a pet 'Marlon'.

Anyway, this tragedy somehow brought his parents back together, a last chance to save their child (and their marriage).
In my opinion, this was a mistake. 15 years have passed and G is still living at home and he's still fucking-up.

Once he asked me why nobody likes him.

"Because you are an asshole. You steal. You lie. You cheat.If you haven't already killed someone, it's just a matter of time. You are far more trouble than you are worth."

"But...but...I'm a good person...", he blubbered.

"Uh huh."

I didn't believe him- 'good people' don't call in bomb threats just so they can put off taking their SAT's (thank Godzilla that was pre- 9/11).
That's as close as G ever got to higher learning, although he's done quite a bit of reading during his frequent incarcerations.

But then I read his blog. He really does think he's a good person.

He is wrong.