Truth or Con She Quenches

Not five minutes ago I was telling myself that I will keep this a secret- no avail.

My heart is fairly bursting with joy and I feel like I must share my good news with all of the Interworld!

I have met the Perfect Woman. I found her on the Interweb, or rather she found me... and it was Whalanol that brought us together.
You see, this summer I did some in-depth investigative journalism into the prospect of converting whale oil into something you could put in your automobile ( by 'Journalism', I mean 'Fiction') and that is how I met my beloved.


She was converting my Fiction into her Journalism.

I suppose that is what she meant when she wrote this in her bio:

"Two years of ‘Teaching Journalism’ in undergraduate colleges have given me insight to what helped me as a professional."

Actually, I have no idea what that means, except that it might help explain the current sorry state of 'journalism'...a professional journalist should do a cursory fact check before publishing, at the very least. If they aren't teaching that in college, then what are they teaching?

Anyhow...

All my life I have wanted to meet the perfect woman, someone who shares my ideals, my love of nature and- most importantly- my unquenchable passion for art, music, words...something my beloved Irani ( it's her name, not her nationality) eloquently expresses with this:

"As a student of journalism myself, writing and getting articles on environment related issues published in national dailies have bolstered my confidence, encouraging all the way to be a watchdog and spokesperson on the planet ailments and their healing tips."

Smitten, I am.
Can't you feel the love?
Move the monitor closer to your head- now can you feel it?
Good.

The dowry is currently being negotiated...huh?
What's this?

Excuse me a moment- I need to check something.

(eleven seconds later)

Irani, I am sorry, but my heart is no longer yours.