I called a friend. I told him what was wrong.
His reply: " I guess you're ready to start drinking, then."
But it wasn't a warning or a worry- it was a wish. He wanted me to start drinking again,right that very second- probably just so he'd have someone to drink with.
That makes me feel terrible. I thought that I was very clear with my friends about my desire to live. If they can't understand that, then what can they understand?
Does he think my will is so weak that I am willing to throw my life away before I even know exactly what I'm facing?
Is that how my 'real-life' friends see me?
As a suicidal weakling?
No. I mean it. No.
11 comments:
misery loves company and that's what drinking is, misery.
congratulations on your willpower.
rube is right..and I also found out when I quit drinking that I make my old drinking friends nervous...they see me sober for 15 years and remember that I could drink each and everyone of them under the table and drank like a fish...and now I'm sober and they are still drinking...and it freaks them out...they need me to drink again to feel better about themselves...not gonna do it..not prudent..ha...get some new friends..and you know you have a bunch here that REALLY care about you..and know what you are going through...chin up..
Your friend is an ass. And you rock for keeping it together enough not to go hit the bottle when a problem arises.
ummm friend? think again
Good on ya mate!
i wouldn't call those folks friends.
take care, allan.
Alan,you're in charge of your own self my friend.
Sometimes,you have to cut the ties that bind you to people that will only take you down.I don't know your friend,but I know from my own experience with drugs that some friendships are best left to memory.
Hey Allan!
Grab on tight to all that gives back in a healthy way-your love of music, of writing, of radio, of story-telling, of being one of the best damn bloggers in the 'sphere...stay strong, stay focused, and maybe stay away from this particular individual for a time. You were saved from sure death for a reason-- the world needs people like you! You are the best of the best! talk soon, E.XXXXXX
Rube-
Thanks. You are a good dog. Say hello to your human and send him my best wishes with his own battles.
JS- It takes all of Texas just to hold yer big ole' heart. Have a sip of Dr. Pepper- you deserve it!
Whim- yeah,having one less friend isn't going to kill me. And neither is this disease.
'Anon'- My mind reels with images of leather, whips and cuffs. In a good way.
Grish- Tryin' man, tryin'.
Polona- he doesn't understand. It's denial.
Sling- how true that is. A lot of us here on blooger have similar stories...I am lucky to have my blooger buddies.
E- I...I am not the best. But I am better for knowing you. Thank you.
NO, that definitely does not qualify as a friend. Friends support you and want you to be well. Period.
my first response is fuck your 'friend'.
but you also know what kind of place drinking puts you in, so maybe look at that friend through that lens and remember they are trying to stay afloat too.
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