Priorities

Dear Kids,
I understand that some of y'all might have mommies and daddies who want you boys and girls to be able to see the doctor when you feel funny. As a daddy myself, I 'ppreciate that. That is how daddies feel. Funny, but not ha-ha.
But don't you hate going to the doctor? And isn't the dentist scary?
It's nothing to be ashamed of- heck,even I was afraid to show up for my doctor visit when I was in the National Guard- that was back before you were born, but people still talk about it. Dan.

Well, you can stop worrying 'bout getting scared. No more icky doctors or yucky medicine for you!

See, y'all gotta understand something. Progress costs money. And you can't have progress without giving big tax cuts to people who make enough money in one day to pay for your insulin for life -which may be considerably shorter if I use my veto.

Tax cuts = progress dollars.

Anyway, all them progress dollars gotta come from somewhere, which got me thinking...y'know, people like to make fun of me and say that I don't read books, but them folks are wrong.

I do. I was reading some stuff by this old guy named Charles Dickens when I had this great idea:
There's nothing I want that I can't simply take from poor people.

Aha! I will use poor people to pay for my progress! And my war. Wars cost money, y'know.
I'm trying to keep this war going so that you can grow up and help spread freedom in Iraq, but some people want to cut off my allowance and take away your future job opportunities.

Well, they can't do that. I'm the Decider and sometimes my decisioning is hard work.
Hard work means sacrifice.

In the interest of progress I regretfully insist on vetoing your allowance instead of cutting mine. N'yahh!

But don't worry! I'm gonna relax those 'big-government' child labor laws so that y'all can work in our nation's coal mines- you cute little kids are the perfect size for crawling in tunnels!

In the Cliff notes to the Dickens books I read, they mention factories as being good places to give children job opportunities, but we don't have enough factories here in 'Merica to give y'all jobs. If y'all give my progress a chance, I'll make sure you have construction jobs building factories in other countries.
Heck, I'll pay you to knock them down and then I'll pay you to rebuild them. Talk about job security!

Don't go thinking that I'm some kinda lefty, book-readin' intellectual though.
I'm regular folk, just like you- 'cept your daddy might not have been President- and I get my ideas from reg'lar folks too.
For instance, take my idea of progress: I learned it from watching NASCAR.


I thank you for your sacrifice in this time of national need.

Best,
Unca Dubya

P.S. You teens might wanna check out some of the sweeet enlistment bonuses available at a military recruiter near you! (Act now-those bonuses won't be given to draftees)