I'm in desperate straits. My money is all gone, my car isn't expected to live much longer, the prospect of a new job seems to be all grin and no cat- other than the debacle at the music store, I haven't gotten one serious reply to any of my dozens of applications- not one.
I am getting more than nervous- I am getting scared.
Monday I called one of the agencies that I contract with. They aren't great with the pay, but usually have something - why no jobs?, I asked.
"We have you as inactive."
"What? I was there two weeks ago- I brought my passport in for my paperwork, took a PC test- inactive? Huh?"
"Who did you test with?"
"Morgan."
There was a pause. Mute. Un-mute.
"She doesn't work here any longer. Can you come back next week? We don't have anything this week anyway."
Aaarrgh. Sure, what's another week without income? I have 28 days before I get evicted- what's the rush?
One thing about being unemployed is that it gives one a lot of time to contemplate all the things one could do if one could ever get one's periods of financial security to synchronize with one's periods of leisure time.
If I could find a good job, I would save up and buy myself a vacation.
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For three years myself and many others have been busting our unpaid asses to make our radio station the most successful non-profit, listener-supported, independent LPFM station ever.
This week begins our annual Fall Pledge Drive- as I write this, I'm waiting to hear from our station manager.
She is shopping for gear to replace what just broke.
I'm waiting to hear something like this:
"The new console is at the station, along with a box of new cables. Can you come down and install it?"
That will be music to my ears- literally!
I actually enjoy doing stuff like installing audio consoles. I'm also looking forward to something that isn't an Alesis USB MultiMix board. If you are shopping for a mixer, do not buy an Alesis MultiMix. Ours has been repaired twice and replaced once in the year since we bought it...all under warranty, but still...
We've been having endless equipment headaches and the timing on the latest breakage could not be worse. Somehow, the show will go on, but some of us are getting tired of literally duct-taping things together while watching the seconds count down on the studio clock...I feel like the character in a bad TV drama, trying to decide which wire to cut on a ticking bomb...5,4,3,2,1...live broadcasts are not for the timid.
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For weeks, I've been having nightmares featuring endless chalkboards- old-fashioned classroom-style blackboards spiraling up and down like Escher's staircases, all covered in some sort of scrawl - letters, numbers...I can't tell.
When I wake up, the writing is lost.
The last time I had that dream, the slate had been wiped clean. Just plain blackish-grey with a light tan wooden frame...I think the ocean was in the background.
That morning I woke up in an unfamiliar place. I wasn't alone.
"...mmm...g'morning."
"...mornin' "
"Hey, let me tell you about this dream I had- I've been having- it's about you, I think..."
"About me? You dream about me? Really? Keep talking..."
"Well, yeah...mmm...it's the blackboard one I told you about...it's an equation, I think..."
"Oh, that dream...in that case, keep talking while I make coffee. Be right back."
Long stories are told...
"...so anyway, I've felt like I've owed you something from back then...something good, but it wasn't in me to give that... I was too busy fucking up everything I touched- even now, I'm afraid that I'm messing up your life...it's been bothering me for years..."
"Hey. Enough. My life has always been a mess. I was the one who fucked you over, if I remember...I was surprised that you still talk to me...oh crap, I gotta go get the kids from their dad..."
"But that dream, you see...last night... I..."
"Look, me and [husband] are trying to sort it out. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea..."
"No, not at all...it was perfect- see, the blackboard..."
"...but we can't do this again."
"...was blank. I think that means that we are even."
"Even?"
"Yeah."
"I like that."
7 comments:
there has to be match to your skills out there, time and luck sometimes need a little kick in the ass.
Well, if it comes down to eviction,
I can get your back for awhile - though I scarcely know you, ha. I need someone to housesit for a week in November...
aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrghhhhh... is everybody getting some but me!!?!?!!
ahem... sorry for the interruption, we now return to our usual broadcast...
i do hope you find work real soon!
You lost me on the dream. No blackboards, ever. But perhaps I should share my dreams with bedmates more often, just in case.
I'll be wishing a good job in your direction.
I woke up thinking about school this morning as well.
It sounds as if your dream has resolved itself. Starting off with a clean slate and all.
I hope you still have some months of that sweet, sweet unemployment insurance left. I was a few months without it, myself and it was kinda rough.
Maybe I'll post about my own job hunting shenanigans?
Here's hoping for a new job and a new board!
Hey, I'm hoping things are about to work out for you. Sorry I missed you earlier.
well, that sucks...bites and blows.
have you tried craiglist?..monster.com?..hell what do I know...does the paper have anything?...how about ....fuck im out of ideas...
wish I had a magic wand and could conjure you up a job..good luck my friend...
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