Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Playbook Lookback

I started following politics the same year that I started following pro football. That year was 1972.
I was six years old and very impressionable- my favorite animal was the dolphin and the best NFL team in history were the unbeaten 1972 Miami Dolphins- they became my favorite team.

By that logic, I should be a Republican.
In the 1972 Presidential Election the Democratic Party got it's ass whipped. Hard.
But my adults told me that Nixon was a liar and a criminal and that if he got elected, we'd see some bad things happen. My adults were correct.

I am still a Miami Dolphins fan. This year's Dolphins may well be the worst NFL team that isn't the 1976 Tampa Bay Bucs, but I'm still a believer. One day we will win a game. It just won't be this year.

This season, Miami fans are so ashamed of their team's shoddy performance that they have started wearing bags on their heads at home games. They still attend, but only to display their outrage, sorrow and frustration.

That is how I feel about the current state of American politics. If I lived in Iowa, I'd be making a bag right now.

I am not certain who I want as President but I do know a few things:

- I don't want a Republican. I'm not exactly gushing with love for the Democrats, but they are slightly the lesser of two evils.
Ralph Nader was wrong. It did matter who won in 2000. And 2004.

- I don't want anyone who voted to give George Bush the power to start a war in Iraq. I knew that was disaster in the making- I wish I had been proven wrong, but I wasn't.
I said Bush was a liar and a criminal and if he got his war, bad things would happen. This was a dangerous opinion in 2002, but I stuck to it and I still do.

- I would rather have a platitude-spewing, egg-laying evolutionary freak in the White House than a Bible-thumping, war-mongering Creationist.

-There is no Platypus Party- but there should be.

Being Australian, Patty (above) sets an exemplary democratic example. Australia recently voted their Prime Minister out of office for being too much like George Bush. Strangely, in Australia the Liberals are the conservative party- I think it's because they are south of the equator. Bullshit flushes backwards in the Southern Hemisphere.

Honestly, I can't imagine why anyone would want to be President. They- and we- are fucked from Day One. It's like accepting a job as manager of a store that has "Going-out-of-Business" signs posted on the windows...I did that once. It didn't work out.

Good luck.

Hang in there, baby!

Remember: The plummet of a thousand feet begins with a single step!


whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Sad but very true.

Anyone who is worthy of being President isn't truly in the running.

Enemy of the Republic said...

I'd like to have a giant middle finger statue posted in every American city with 100,000 or more, dedicated to Ralph Nader. That ass cost us Florida along with Jeb's cronyism. 8 years of Bush and we are more cynical and browbeaten than ever. I hope Barak takes it; he may be the only one who will bring decent people into the White House; however, he needs a supportive congress. But I too, am saddened by the slew of deadbeats that are running. We deserve better.

billy pilgrim said...

does jimmy carter have a son?

Allan said...

Whim- I'm not sure it's true. The '76 Bucs might have been a little better than we are.

EotR- I love the Finger idea!
You'd have to try really hard to lose to the sorry-ass GOP crop of sleazebags and nut-cases, but I have faith that the Dems could lose to a bag of rock salt if the weather was right, ya know what I mean?

Allan said...

BP- Three. I had to Google it.

schlep said...

This doesn't have anything to do with presidential politics but strangely I was also a fan of the Dolphins back then (when I gave a shit about football, age 12) probably for similar, nonsensical reasons (the colors of their uniforms? Their super offence too, Griese, Csonka, um that other running back...) before they made their big thrilling Super Bowl splash. I got to tell everyone 'I told you so' with impunity. Good times.

schlep said...

Mercury Morris! How can I remember such trivia!

Allan said...

Mercury Morris! How can you NOT remember MM? He set a behavioral precedent for today's NFL players!

yellowdog granny said...

i never forgave my daddy for voting for nixion..but after i saw how embarrased he was by nixion afterwards..i forgave him..but i did tell him i told you so every chance i got..ha...are the the disgruntled dolphin fan that commented on my post?.snort*giggle

Allan said...

Yeah...that was me. Ugh. Let's not talk about football.

more cowbell said...

"Ralph Nader was wrong. It did matter who won in 2000. And 2004"

Yep. Big time.

(PS: Jimmy Carter has a daughter, too. She was a political activist and now works on human rights issues.)