Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Blame Clinton First

I liked President Clinton but there are some things I wished he'd done differently. If I'd had Bill's ear during the Lewinsky crap, I'd have advised him to say something like this:

" My Fellow Americans, I am here to address a matter of absolutely no domestic or international significance whatsoever. Despite the unending stream of infantile jokes, this is an adult topic so I will pause for a moment so you can escort your children out of the room should you choose to do so.
*pause*
OK. Here's what happened. This woman (below), Monica Lewinsky, was a White House intern.

One evening I was working late and Ms. Lewinsky brought me a pizza (below) and an offer of fellatio (not pictured).


I took her up on it and we had an affair. I'll spare you the details but it happened. No laws were broken and I'm working it out with my wife.
Thank you for your time. I will now get back to work. I'm trying to catch a man named Usama bin-Laden, but it's classified so I cannot divulge the details.
My personal life isn't classified, but it is private. If you really want to hear the specifics, please ask Ms. Lewinsky. I understand that she's looking for a book deal at the moment."

-----------------

What's that you say? That speech wouldn't have gone over very well?

Compared to what?

In reality, Clinton got impeached and the Democrats lost control of all three branches of government. We all know what happened next. Could being forthright have made it worse?

Personally, I want the person who controls our military to be sexually satisfied instead of cranky, irritable and prone to starting wars. I don't especially care how they get off , as long as it doesn't involve 'shock and awe', torture and wiretaps.

I lost a measure of respect for Clinton that I never got back. I didn't fault him for his dalliances- I would have done the same thing, as often as possible- I faulted him for telling such an obvious lie. If he had admitted it right away, there may have been no investigation, no Blue Dress DNA testing, no impeachment...eh, I'm kidding myself. Nevermind.

18 comments:

yellowdog granny said...

what i have been saying since it happened...so he got a blow job...get over it and move on..but because he was a whiny lying scumbag..it got turned into the worse circus in town..and as democrats we have suffered 8 years of this asshole because of him...so ...
good guy or not..fuckem...and his butch wife...thanks..i needed that..

citizen of the world said...

I absolutely agree. It was a marital issue and not a political issue. And if Hillary found a way to deal with it, what did it matter to the rest fo us. (ANd by the way, I get tired of people attacking - it was a true damned if she did or damned if she didn't situtaion, and I think she handled it pretty gracefully.)

Sling said...

I just don't lend any credence to tabloid politics.
Democrat that I am,as soon as the talking heads started reporting on Mcaine's alleged sexual exploits,I jammed my fingers in my ears and made that 'LA LA LA' noise till they went away...
I don't give a particular damm which side you're on,there's no room for that in my assesment of a candididate.

Lyzard said...

"Personally, I want the person who controls our military to be sexually satisfied"

Seriously.

Who gives orders for death and destruction when laying in afterglow... except for maybe Kissinger?

Homey Escapeon said...

I would like to kick Ken Starr right in the knackers for being such a twat. What a weasel.

Your whole political system needs an enema. The proverbial Military Industrial Complex is currently unleashing it's guard dogs like Rush on McCain.

The powers that be need to keep the Government spending 52% of the Budget on the Military.
Meanwhile the US$ is dropping, the rest of the world has finally had it up to HERE!

It is interesting to note that the reigning Empire in 100 short years ago was Great Britain.
Empires come and Empires go.

Auld Hat said...

Agreed. As per usual...

beth said...

and there's no way to impeach Bush?

sheesh

billy pilgrim said...

i think he should have vowed to give up cigars.

Susannity said...

just as HRC was damned either way, I think Bill would have been too. I think what made it hard for some folks (beyond the frigidaires) is that he did it in the oval office.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

LOL and agreed!

Allan said...

J-Then they accused him of using bin-Laden as a distraction...love that irony!

C-It's a plus for her diplomatic skills.

S- Just because you don't like bullets doesn't mean that you should bring a water pistol to the OK Corral.That it's what Dems do and it's why McCain could still win.

L- Kissinger' glow comes after the orders.


Home- They did really, really well in Afghanistan. One survivor was left to talk about it.

Hat-Thanks.

B- No spine.

BP- He didn't inhale.

S- I was more interested in what would have happened in 2000 had Monicagate' been a non-event.
Why not the Oval Office? There are guards outside to keep people out- all parents should be so lucky!

jp said...

Ah... I remember the 1800's, when a president could have an affair with one of his slaves and nobody said a word.

Fine, I don't remember it but I heard about it.

angel said...

so THATS what's wrong with bush- he ain't gettin any?!!??!!!!!!!

more cowbell said...

Well, I did actually have a problem with the whole Lewinskigate thing, most of it around, as you've already discussed, the lying. But the actual ... event, shall we say, did bother me as well. I do believe that part of being an elected official is to attempt to lead and live with honor and responibility to your commitments and your word. I'm thinking that if a person lies/cheats in his/her private life, that could be a fair indicator of their values/judgement all around. I do expect more from our president, because I need to trust him on the public matters, to know that his judgement will not be self serving or easily swayed.

THat being said, of course it in no way compares to the current Bush shenanigans. "When Clinton lied, no one died" and all that. I'm just saying, he doesn't deserve a free pass as president, just because Bush is 1000x worse.

Allan said...

JP- Words were said. It sold papers.

A-One of many problems, I reckon.

MC- I'm not up for giving him a pass, I'm blaming all of BushCo's misdeeds on him. If he had showed a little judgment he could have averted the while thing, which would have lead to a near-forgone Gore victory and ultimately, an emission-free electric car in every garage. Everything that isn't Bill Clinton's fault, I blame on Ralph Nader. Except the things I blame on John Kerry.

I'm too cynical to expect politicians to be good role models. That's a job for professional athletes.

Say it ain't so.

more cowbell said...

Yep, he really screwed things up for Gore, and Nader's final push over the edge didn't help.

I'm hellishly cynical too, but for some reason, there's an inner Pollyanna who keeps hoping that some of our politicians out there may actually care about being a good role model. I know, I know. Hey ... you can stop laughing now. Seriously.

Allan said...

I want to believe that too, but don't expect it to happen.

floacist said...

J-Then they accused him of using bin-Laden as a distraction...love that irony!

I completely forgot about that. That's just a shame.