Friday, April 25, 2008

Chastity and Prudence

Flashback to a few months ago:
I'm on a dinner date with my female friend Chastity. At least I thought it was a dinner date...when we arrive at the restaurant, Chastity tells me that she had "forgotten" our date and had already eaten...oh, that's really awesome, I think, I've been looking forward to this all week and you forgot and now I have to either skip dinner or eat alone, in public, with an audience of one. I guess sex is out of the question.

Sex, Chastity informs me, is out of the question.

That's fine, I say. I mean it. It's Ok. I'm just glad for the company.

Chastity tells me that I'm not OK with that. She has brothers and she knows how men think. She knows that I'm only after sex and I'm not getting any from her.

Besides, she continues, I am dating our mutual friend, Prudence.

This is all news to me.

"Chassie", I explain, "I am not dating Prudence. Prudence gave me the "let's just be friends" speech a long time ago...that's where we stand now."

"No", she insists, " I have seen you together. Women know these things."

Waitress! Check, please!

Forward to much more recently:

It's late at night and I'm hanging out with Prudence. We're Googling weird bands and listening to snippets of's in a semi-public place and there's absolutely no sex going on.

Just friends.

In walks Chastity. She sees me sitting next to Prudence and her demeanor darkens.

Liar, I can hear her think, I knew you were fucking Prudence.


Anonymous said...

Maybe you should start hanging out with women named Lucy and Leah.

Allan said...

Lois and Lana!

billy pilgrim said...

dear prudence, won't you come out to play........

yellowdog granny said...

all that drama and you still didn't get laid?..that sucks

whimsical brainpan said...

Pfffft! Women!

Susannity said...

LOL I was thinking the same as Auld Hat. Where is Pussy Galore when you need her Alan?

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