Monday, September 15, 2008

Marking Time

Today is my Twin Brother's birthday. It's my birthday too- I'm thinking of asking the Twin for some money so that I can buy him something...I'm considering giving him a half-broken DVD player and a collection of midget porn DVDs that I inherited from my late cousin, but he'd probably enjoy it more if I bought a remote control for the DVD player...midget porn really needs that FFx8 feature- the faster the Forward, the better. An unplugged TV might be the best option when it comes to viewing such fare.

(I'd throw the porno discs into the trash but I'm afraid my cute next-door neighbor would see me do it and I'd hate to give her the wrong idea)

Today feels weird. I usually don't give two hoots about my birthday- it falls so close to 9/11 and to the anniversaries of breaking up with my last "real" girlfriend and of my own medical crisis that all it usually does is depress me and remind me of horrible events of the recent past...and this is my first birthday without my Grandmother. Thanksgiving will be the first one without her, then Christmas...you get the idea.

Yesterday I did sound for my friend Will's band, Hamburger James. It was an outdoor evening in a nice local park, I hope to have some pics soon. It was a fun show, sorta like an early birthday present.

Today I was an entire hour late for work, something that's becoming a really bad habit- so far , no one has noticed or least said anything- as I have mentioned, most days I have absolutely zero human interaction here- there are many, many days where I could have stayed home and just emailed my timesheet in...if I was still drinking, I'm sure that I already would have done that.
Have I mentioned that it's been over three years since my last drink?

In a rare fit of optimism (or a common bout of boredom, depending on how you look at it), I applied for a Dream Job today: Accordian Inspector.
Seriously- my job would be to unpack the accordians at a local warehouse, inspect them for flaws and then tune them up. You might laugh, but how many accordians have you recorded? Have you even touched one?
No matter what your answers, I'm sure my numbers are higher, so I'm pretty damned qualified if you ask me- and I swear to Godzilla, tuning accordians has to be more exciting than being a file clerk- it just has to be.

Tonight I have big plans:
I'll watch football, smoke some dope and go to bed. With luck, I'll dream of accordians.

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Thanks to JS and Angel for the nice notes and to Whim for the package. I love you all.

9 comments:

yellowdog granny said...

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear sweet aaaaaaaaaaallan,
happy birthday to you.
your welcome.

Craig D said...

Tell your twin that I said he should wish you a happy birthday.

ACCORDION INSPECTOR?!?!? Dream job, indeed.

Maybe you could get a job as an itinerant coat hanger repairman..?

Best wishes!

billy pilgrim said...

the romulus and remus of the 21st century. if that isn't nice, what is?

happy fecking birthday.

Allan said...

JS- hey, that song is copyright protected! Are you trying cause trouble? (I hope so)

CD- No wire hangers! Unless Palin and the old guy that's running with her win...in that case, wire hangers will make a comeback.

BP- We didn't found this Fallen Empire, we just live here. Need a refugee handyman?

yinyang said...

Happy belated birthday (and a very merry un-birthday, too)!

whimsical brainpan said...

I hope that this will be your year. I mean your age is the meaning of existence after all.

Sling said...

Happy birthday buddy!
I have no clue how to tune an accordian.
That's a valuable skill indeed!

Merely Me said...

Happy Birthday to you! And I haven't heard accordian music since...Lawrence Welk.

angel said...

happy birthday to youuu,
happy birthday tooooo youuuuu,
happy birthday dear allaaaaaannnn...
haaaaappyyyyyyyyyy biiirrrrrrthdaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy toooooooooooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
hip hip!
hooray!
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