Saturday, March 14, 2009

Naughty Wet Hummer

As gasoline prices soared last summer, the Hummer became less of a 'status symbol' and instead came to represent the gluttonous excesses that helped mire us in the Great Fiscal Swamp of the present.

Hummers aren't cheap and they come with an insatiable thirst for gasoline that increasingly few people can afford. Using a military troop carrier that gets 6 MPG for mundane civilian chores- shopping, commuting, etc- could easily be seen as a vulgar display of conspicuous consumption for consumption's sake.

I recall a brief argument from a year or so ago:

"Dude", I told a co-worker, "isn't that [Hummer] a bit of overkill?"

"But I need my Hummer! ", my friend protested, "I have eleven children that I need to drive around!"

"You know, " I thought," as far as vehicles go, the only thing more offensive than a Hummer would be a Hummer with vanity tags reading: "11 KIDS".

Well, how about a Hummer decorated with soft-core pornography? Where does that rate on the scale of vehicular effrontery?
As I was leaving the radio station after today's show, this is what I saw parked in front of our building:


Hmmm...that looks like two women fondling each other. It was raining and visibility was poor, so I moved in for a closer look, just to be certain of what I was seeing.

After collecting my photographic evidence, I turned around and re-entered the building.
It's possible, I thought, that strippers have infiltrated our studios. I had better make a sweep through the building, just in case...a careful room-by-room inspection of the premises turned up no unauthorized naked women...whew.

Personally, I am generally not offended by pictures of unharmed, voluntarily naked people. There is a time and place for such things and if one chooses to view them, they have a right to do so...but, um, er...am I getting old, or does it seem improper to put giant photos of semi-naked and suggestively-posed women on the exterior of street vehicles?

The 'Faux Frazetta' airbrushed vans of my youth were bad enough, right?

Wrong.

It's a slippery slope from this:



To this:


Dude. That's classy.

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Next: My St. Patrick's Day Playlist! Yay.

10 comments:

yinyang said...

I was almost born on St. Patrick's Day.

more cowbell said...

Oh jeez. Really, I've got nothing.

Sling said...

I could think of even more unsuitable acts to display on a vehicle called a 'Hummer'..

citizen of the world said...

I have an issue with porn being forced on the general public (and my children) by goombahs who think they have the right to decorate anyway they want.

And then I have a seprate issuewith people who have so little respect for the workd that they'd drive a hummer. Or have 11 children.

Allan said...

YY- Happy Birthday!

MC- It was a real WTF moment.

S- I wanna drive a Hummer in a Demolition Derby.

C- I was surprised that I was offended. I don't want that in front of my radio station.

Yeah, it's Wrongon many levels, isn't it?

yellowdog granny said...

ahh, jeez..I don't know which is more obscene, the hummer or the hummerettes..

billy pilgrim said...

if this van's a rockin

don't come a knockin!

i'll take a small display of eroticism over a rolling billboard for red bull energy drink.

whimsical brainpan said...

:-O

angel said...

"It's possible, I thought, that strippers have infiltrated our studios. I had better make a sweep through the building, just in case...a careful room-by-room inspection of the premises turned up no unauthorized naked women...whew."

Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaa...

Craig D said...

We're here...
We're Hetro...
GET USED TO IT!!!

Naw, that just doesn't have a good ring to it. Gotta work on that one.