Thursday, April 09, 2009

Number One

My Proudest Moment

Q:What is the most fucked up thing on the web?

A: This blog!

At 1:41 PM today, an Internet user in Lincoln, Nebraska typed the phrase " the most fucked up thing on the web" into Google's search engine, which produced over 19 million hits. My blog was number ONE of "about 19,200,000"!

The really swell thing about it is that I didn't even try to be the most fucked up thing on the web, it just came naturally to me. Seriously, though- have you ever seen the Internet? It's full of FU'd things! I must be well and truly fucked-up to be number one. In fact, I must be so FU'd that I am no longer responsible for my actions.

Life just got a lot simpler.


CLEAN FOR NINE DAYS

I have done without Cable TV for nine days. I had planned on switching to Direct TV but they double-billed me for a huge security deposit so I cancelled the installation and got a refund. My erratic digital signal was cut off on 1 April. I could afford cable, but it's just not worth it at the moment. I have a feeling that I might be better off without TV.

I live near a CBS broadcast tower that blots out all other stations, so I pretty much have one channel to choose from...but I really don't miss TV. I'll need something before football season, but for now, Ill just save my schekels for a new PC that can stream Hulu for ten minutes without crashing.

Then I'm gonna finish watching Fringe.

You Did What?

The Virginia General Assembly voted yesterday to reject $125 million in Federal aid intended to expand unemployment benefits. The vote was nearly split along party lines, with the Republicans largely voting against accepting the money. It seems like political suicide to me- our unemployment rate has been projected to reach 10% or higher by 2010 - can the GOP really afford to alienate another 10% of the public?

The Republicans also passed a law that allows holders of concealed weapons permits to carry handguns into bars and restaurants - with the stipulation that they not drink. Riiiight.
It's my suspicion that a great number of people might bend that rule a bit- but what could possibly go wrong in a roomful of armed drunks? They will behave themselves just fine, I am sure.

Until the angry desperation of long-term unemployment kicks in.

So

Is the economic recession linked to the current spate of mass homicides in America?
Come on down to your local bar and find out.

7 comments:

Enemy of the Republic said...

What is the most fucked up place in America?

Answer: Lincoln, Nebraska.

Try driving through that state in the winter; hey, it's fucked up!

Sling said...

I'm jealous of your #1 status!..
If you think carrying concealed weapons in bars is fun,just wait 'till Halloween when everyone gets to wear disguises..Good times.

schlep said...

But, your blogposts often make perfect sense to me. Oh my god.

yellowdog granny said...

how can you be the most fucked up blog on the interet..?? that's impossible..
but it could make for a new title for your blog..haha..
what is the deal with these fucking republicans not taking the money for their state..my jackass buttroy 'good hair' perry is doing the same thing..

I looooove hulu...

angel said...

I was once ranked #1 for "parenting hell"... heh heh

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you!

more cowbell said...

Wow. That's fucked up.