My name is Ped Xing and I'm the CEO of the People's Flag Company here in Beijing, China. I am writing to extend my hearty thanks to all of my American friends for ordering so many flags for your upcoming display of patriotism in September.
Your response to my "action plan" email campaign has been overwhelming and our factories are now buzzing like beehives! I am happy to inform you that your national pride has created hundreds of jobs for our nation's unemployed orphans and that I am looking at a bonus check that would give The Chairman grave-spins, most of which I plan on investing in American Real Estate.
Your friend in Capitalism,
P.S. Forward this to 600 million of your closest friends!