Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Words, Signs, Sounds


I saw this sign at a local gas station: "No Trespassing Without Permission."

Somebody tried to improve  upon the universally-accepted standard  "No Trespassing" sign by qualifying it with an additional phrase: "Without Permission"- heedless of the fact that adding  those words annihilated the sign's message.

I'm guessing that they got paid more money for creating  that sign than I am earning for commenting on it. It is not a comforting thought.

Perhaps I should take the advice of numerous friends and seek employment on Craigslist...I am surprised that I didn't think of that sooner- my forays into the personal ads and the 'musician' sections being so wildly successful and all.

Here's one that looks decent- Admin. Asst.(My Town).  Let's open it and see what it  says
[cut and pasted]:

"We ask that you detail your answers the following key questions when submitting your cover letter and resume:

1. How extensive was previous office adminstrator experience?
2. In what instances have you dealt with confidential work?
3. Describe what was your most difficult parts from your past employment or experiences? "


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They are asking me to "detail [my] answers the following key questions"...I am not so sure I understand that. Maybe the questions will clear things up:

1. Um, no. That isn't helping at all. What is an "adminstrator?" Doesn't craigslist have spell-check?

2. I am not telling you. I think that you are spam.

3.My "most difficult part"?  I am not sure what that means either. The 'getting fired' part, perhaps?

There are other ads:

ARE YOU FUN-OUTGOING-EASY TO GET ALONG WITH---DO PEOPLE REALLY LIKE YOU----DO YOU PLAY WELL WIT OTHERS:)

 No, no , no, no...please stop yelling.


Here are some especially galling job requirements from an Admin Asst posting, emphasis mine:

-computer experience is a huge plus, microsoft windows, e-mail mailings, bulk mailings to assist with business development and growth, web design ability or ability to learn is another plus
-are you able to accept directions without questions--this is required
-must smile and be happy

Computer experience is not a problem, but blind, unquestioning obedience is, and the emotional command that I must "be happy" is just a little too much to bear...at the end of the ad, it says it is a "drug-free work enviroment" [sic]. So much for faking the happiness requirement.

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There are certain words that I cannot get past. Some of these I encounter while browsing through virtual bushels of  electronic press kits from bands and PR firms:

-Lite Jazz. Also includes any permutation of Light, Soft, Smooth or Easy...one band self-described themselves as "Easy-Listening Blues", a description I found mystifying.
I mean, if it is 'easy-listening', it ain't Blues.

- Christian [anything]. Guaranteed not to rock.


 -Alternative. To what? Everything  today is alternative, so the word now means 'conformist'. To be fair, I still find some decent bands using this label...but much less so than in say, 1990. (Or 2008, for that matter)

-Adult Contemporary. Music intended to harmonize with comforting prescription sedatives.


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Of course, my musical instincts are sometimes wrong. Friday night, the station hosted a live appearance by salsa band extraordinaire Bio Ritmo. I was completely drained from a 12-day workweek and was actually dreading this show, a nine piece salsa band is a challenging audio set-up- but the group had a great energy and I felt much better after their 60-minute groove session than I did before- music can really be a wonderful restorative.

I used to play in a band with Bio Ritmo's founding member and despite our differences, I was a little peeved when I heard that they had kicked him out many, many years ago. I later heard that maybe that wasn't quite true...I really don't know what happened and it doesn't matter anymore, anyway. The important thing is that the band sounds about ten gabjillion times better now than they did back then.  Grabs at you in a good way.

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Two more bands to engineer before the weekend - one each on Wednesday and Thursday nights. It is Fund Drive Week at the station and its a busy one. Stay Tuned.

4 comments:

angel said...

You should see some of the signs in South Africa... like the ones on traffic lights that say "WAIT FOR GREEN"!!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

Im so discouraged for you..I hope things get better..I lit a candle and sent up a prayer..

secret agent woman said...

My son recently explained ot me why he felt you can't sing "Christian" lyrics with certain genres of music (like metal). I have sometimes suddenly realized I'm accidentlaly listening to CHirstian rock and I always feel like I've been duped.

Craig D said...

That sign reminds me of the title of an old National Lampoon piece entitled, "Tresspassers Will Be Violated."

You don't wanna know, trust me.