Thursday, June 17, 2004

Japanese Robot Mormon Cold Shower Nightmare

(warning: links may be offensive.especially the second one)

Just imagining what could happen if this thing went haywire ala Terminator robot rampage makes this advice irrelevant.
What happens if it won't let go? You pull the plug, but it just goes faster...OUCH.


Lyzard said...

I was given that very piece of literature as a young adult after a long discussion with my Bishop. My favorite part is the bit about tying your hand so it won't seek to pleasure you in your sleep... idle hands, tsk, tsk, tsk.

It's nice to read over something that made me feel like shit for so many years and be able to laugh at how damned silly it is. But then I realize that it's still making a lot of people feel guilty and I just feel pity... and giggle some more because I'm a jerk.

Allan said...

If I hadn't lived in Utah I would have thought that was a Swiftian satirical essay. How do you isolate yourself from people who masturbate? When someone offers their hand in friendship should we ask them if they've ever touched themselves in an improper fashion? What an ice-breaker!

Lyzard said...

I think that is just how I will react to handshakes in the future.
"I'm sorry, but I must know, have you ever touched yourself in an improper fashion?"
The ideal response of course would be:
"Not an improper fashion, no. It was a right proper fashion to reach the result I intended, and reach it I did."

Allan said...

In a perfect world one could answer by saying ,"I'm not sure (demonstrates technique #1) does this count? (Shows method #2)Is this improper?"

Uyanga said...

You lived in Utah? When? I grew up there =O

Allan said...

1985-1987 more or less. Lived in Park City. I think my blog is turning into a camp for Utah refugees. Smiley Icon.