Sunday, July 18, 2004

Who Wants to be a Rock Star?

Musicians are the second dumbest group of humans on the planet.  The greater mass of Stupid People are wanna -be musicians. What the hell?  Why?
Musicians are stupid. Stupid and poor.  They take drugs and have unsafe sex. Bad,bad musicians.
When a real Musician flushes the toilet in the back of the tour bus and sees his pee splash on highway stripes he doesn't worry about sanitation.  The bus swerves and he wonders who let the drummer drive.
A hundred miles later, no accidents.  Just a crap club in some pissant Carolina town.  Don't ask where the loo is. It's everywhere.  It all smells of piss.
It's a fucking "all-ages" show.  I hate all-ages shows. The kids are all hyped on glue, freon and XTC instead of being properly drunk. I don't wanna play guitar for kids who sniff 'White-Out'.
I do it anyway.  Anger is uncool. A teenager tells me anger is uncool.  My guitar gets pissed, but it's not enough.
We suck. People move around.  I get a pitcher of flat beer and the worst BB-Q  sandwich ever.
The green Mohawk chick likes me. That's why she left without me.
I'm  not very popular.
Glam? Ptooey!

1 comment:

Lyzard said...

Rock Star
~Andrew Kerrlast week I played a show
in a quaint town by the sea
for an audience of 5 including me
where the seagulls hunt in packs
locals call them winged rats
and as I sang, they harmonized off key
people’s faces seem to show
they’d rather hear something they know
it’s great to hear your pain
we’d rather hear fire and rain

I do it for the glory
I do it ‘cause they all adore me
living out the life of the rock star

last night I played inside a mall
in a town called chester
I was the food court jester
so grab a taco and sit down
I’m all that’s happening in this town
I’m your suburban music clown
I promise no obscenity
good clean fun for the whole family
is that your lovely child I see
climbing up on stage with me

I do it for the money
I do it cause they think I’m so funny
living out the life of the rock star

well I drove 800 miles today
in the little engine that tried
and if it was 98 degrees out there
it was 198 inside

one day while watching MTV
or VH1 behind the scenes
you’ll see a face that looks a lot like me
you’ll tell your friends how much I’ve changed
how success has made me strange
how those aren’t even my real teeth
how you once saw me play at borders
background music in the café corner
how we once hung out in some bar
how I slept out in my car

I do it ‘cause you want me
I do it for the screaming groupies
living out the life of the rock star