Monday, August 23, 2004

Could Be Worse

It could always be worse. I 've got all my limbs and I've got my hearing. I must still have a sense of humour, since I'm making the office ladies laugh. If they knew I wasn't kidding , they might not laugh so much.

A giant tank of molasses could collapse and drown me. I could get sucked into the vortex created by a sinking oceanliner's propellers and chopped into little pieces or eaten alive by a Grizzly bear. There's always a possibility of spontaneous human combustion. Leprosy and the Black Plague are constant threats. If it wasn't August, I'd be worried about avalanches. That spider I didn't kill? It's probably poisonous. I could be on the Space Shuttle the next time it explodes or buried alive when the old abandoned silver mine collapses. I could fall into the slurry pit at the rendering plant and turned into hot dogs. I could reach for a beer and drink a can of Drano by mistake or accidently smoke a joint of poison ivy. There's the risk of being trampled by rampaging bulls on a crowded Spanish street. Danger around every corner.

Lots of really bad shit could happen, but probably won't. What a relief.




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