By 2024, the annual Running of the Bulls in Pamplona will be replaced by the daily Run For Your Life From Giant Snakeheads.
These disgusting creatures are, like the lungfish, our distant ancestors. If voracious monstrosities like this hadn't had the tenacity to walk across dry land in search of a new puddle , we'd all be speaking Dolphin now.
That wouldn't have been so bad. Goddamn Snakehead Mudskipper Bastards.
They just found one in Lake Michigan.
These repulsive throwbacks can eat anything and can be killed by almost nothing. In Asia, their flesh is considered a delicacy, not least because of the sheer amount of skill and effort required just to kill the damned thing. Chefs report being savagely bitten while in the process of fileting a fish thought to have been dead for hours.
Thanks to selective breeding and Piscine Growth Hormone, commercial fish nurseries in Thailand can now grow these abominations to a length of 10-13 feet, weighing nearly 1000 pounds. They feed them live goats.
These unkillable and unlikable eating machines will inherit the Earth, and they ain't exactly meek.