Tuesday, January 11, 2005

So Few Resolutions, Even Less Time

I no longer see the point in making many, if any at all, New's Year's Resolutions. Why bother?
It's like leaving the opened mayo jar on the counter for a few weeks and hoping that this time it won't go bad. Don't even stop to consider that it's the middle of a summer heat wave and you can't afford air-conditioning-hell, you really can't even afford a new jar of mayonnaise.

It's like voting for Bush, on the slim, glimmering gamble that he couldn't possibly fuck up worse than he already has. If you did, you've already lost your sucker's bet. Your Social Security is next. His privitization plan is more of a privation plan. It's based on an Argentinean model. Great choice.
It didn't work there and it won't work here-what happened, and what will happen, is so many citizens, through various combinations of mistakes and swindles, will lose everything they've saved and wind up being supported by government welfare anyway. This achieves a similar result as the original program, but at at three or four times the cost.

Our Mad King is setting us upon a course of economic destruction. He'll probably give himself a medal for doing it.

(Oops. I had resolved to quit politics for 28 days. Oh well.)

On the brighter side, here's a fun new Doomsday Scenario to play with.

Why is this so ominous? What if there's a Lovecraftian Elder God imprisoned inside the comet?
The impact might free it, but the impact won't kill it. Those bastards never die, and they make terrible house-guests.

Could be Triffids.

Could be the 'space-borne virus' that killed all the kitties and doggies, giving rise to Planet of the Apes.

Or the Andromeda Strain.

Maybe I'm paranoid. The City was ripping up the street in front of my building the other day; in-between wincing at the jack-hammer impacts I noticed a strong odor of gas. There goes the neighborhood, I thought. Guys were yelling outside: "Oh shit"! "Oh fuck!"

Nothing exploded.
This time. Better luck next time.

(Darn! I had also resolved to stop dwelling on the end of things.)


Chelsea said...

Yeah, I really think you should keep working on that second one...

blahg gal said...

Maybe they should have named it Unknown Impact. I'm with you on the ominous nature of this little science experiment.

Nice to know that they don't think that hitting it with the equivalent of 4.5 tonnes of TNT at 37,000 km/hr won't throw it off course. Let's check back with NASA on July 5th.

the hun said...

Yeah but what if it releases Valentine the peace-loving Martian, and we all finally learn how to breathe at the bottom of a swimming pool?

Canopenner said...

I got a machete for triffids.

I fear not alien super beings.

I am an ape.

For the andromeda strain I got my sterno.

See no matter what happens I got it covered. Ive seen or read them them all.

Now the city and your sidewalk...I dont know what to do when the Vorlons get here...But at least I read Arthur Dent's Blog-

--------While it still has a planet to be published on.

BTW you better check those forclosure notices...or not.

Allan said...

I'll remember to pack a towel.

Susannity! (Susanne) said...

So "mothership" is an actual word hehe. I'm with blahgirl, I'm more worried about trajectory changes than what's inside. If the aliens don't get us, we surely will.