24 Days To Go

Yikes. I thought I'd been given a late starting date for mortgage school since I already knew all the basic shit. I was, as I'm prone to being, wrong. The whole 5-week ordeal had been moved back.
Ugh.There's 23 people in this class. We waste an hour or more going over dress code, where to smoke, where the bathrooms and breakrooms, water fountains and such are, etc.
My first stint here, no one told me about any of this stuff. I had it all figured out in about five minutes- finding out where the coffee comes from is my #1 priority at a new job.
When I first drove out there, I spotted a sign with two arrows. One points to the right and is labeled "Employee Parking". The other points to the left and says "Customer Parking and Deliveries". I've been reading road signs for decades, so I could quickly grasp the information displayed on this mini-billboard and almost effortlessly determine to turn right. I've got the left/right thing down pat.
So we wait while about 1/3 of the class leaves to move their cars.

After re-parking is accomplished, a Fat White Man comes in to welcome us to the Bank Family. Some shit about teamwork, dedication, doing the right thing...whatever. I've heard it all before at other jobs. It's always bullshit. He turns the class over to one of the most superficially perky women I've ever met.
Then it's time for Diversity Bingo. This is just plain weird. We each get a Bingo card and Ms. Perky instructs us to ask each other ask questions printed on the card-stuff about pets, tattoos, gardening, kids etc.

Do you have two or more dogs or cats? Yes.
Do you have a motorcycle? No.
Any tattoos? Yes.
Play a musical instrument? Yes.
Write stories or poetry? Yes.
Ever been on radio or TV? At least once a week.
Grow roses? No, but I'm considering renting a storage Pod and using it to grow weed so I don't have to work here.
Ever had sex in Church?...hmm, does the graveyard count?
Ever had a violent fantasy that involves disemboweling incompetent authority figures? Yes. I'm having one right now.

I don't think that they really asked those last couple questions, but I was so bored that I started
making shit up. It was almost as bad as being at a twelve-step meeting.

Hey! Let's watch a video about diversity and discrimination. I've had Federal EEO training, which involved us spending our days watching cheesy videos and our per diem on liquor. My girlfriend at the time was a manager too, so we spent a lot of time studying together . My (black) assistant and I would stage faux name-calling sessions in the hotel bar. Most of it was improvised parody of the training videos we watched all day. In short, we broke every regulation in the book, but had fun doing it.
This video is just the same as those, except without the fun people, the per deim, the GF and the bar. Snore...

Lunchtime! I go to visit some of the people that I actually like. Whee! They are happy with reunion. One of them asks me if I'm on drugs.
No.
Do I wanna take a ride at lunch?
Yes!

I don't know what we did after lunch. Whatever it was , it was really dull.

I usually don't get stoned at work, but I think I may start making an exception until training is over.