Why do I keep fucking up?
-Neil Young
Goddamn it. Somehow, despite everything, I've been experiencing a vague but compellingly powerful new feeling- hope.
My past life has taught me to believe I should never express hope of any sort- it's a jinx to do so- which of course is utter bullshit, since my past life was a bitter old drunk, always in his cups and prone to loud bouts of cursing at empty rooms. That's not me.
At least that what I thought yesterday.
Yesterday, I clearly remember telling at least two people that I was looking forward to the future, in an optimistic sense. This is uncharacteristic of me, in fact my Fallentown pal asked me what drugs I was on when I told him about my optimism:
Are you on acid? You're tripping me out.
No, I replied.
You must be getting laid, then.
Nope.
Get a raise? More cash?
Hardly.
What , then? Why are you smiling?
Because I can.
I meant it when I said it, too.
Fatal error!
I get a call from Payroll this morning.
I owe the Company 16 hours, says the Voice of Payroll.
For what?
My holiday pay is cancelled because I took Jan 3 off.
But I had a doctors appointment- it was the earliest appointment I could get, since my insurance started on Dec. 25. I point out that my coverage expired Jan 1 , but no one bothered to tell me my policy only lasted 6 days.
Oh, explains the VOP. Just bring in a note from the doctor and we'll release your wages.
I am filled with distase at the thought of my wages needing to be released- are they being held captive, yearning to be free?
Yes.
My wages are pathetic, shackled things. I feel sorry for the way they get treated.
Look-I point out, getting really close to exploding into career-changing profanity- you 'accidently' cancelled my coverage, so I owe money for my visit. I'm sure my doctor will be glad to write a note for me as soon as he gets the insurance info I promised him was coming. It's been a week now-I know he'll be glad to hear from me.
VOP cops my attitude and throws it back. Well, this is a Payroll issue. You need to talk to HR about your insurance. If you want, we can do a Conference Call.
I am defeated. The CC trumps my indignation.
I will call HR myself, later.
I've been on the 'one' end of two (or more)-against-one Conference Calls before. I'd rather roll myself in chum and jump into a shark tank.
I talk to HR guy. I explain that I need my coverage so I can pay the Doc and get a Doc note, allowing my wages to run free.
Go ahead and pay for the visit and any meds and save your receipts, he says. We will probably reimburse you.
Probably?
Most likely- I'll check on it, but go ahead and pay the bill for now.
I don't have the money to do that, especially since my check will be 16 hours short.
HR Guy will get back to me.
Close your eyes and face into a bonfire. That fuzzy eye-lid red color is the color of my anger. The heat is my frustration .
It's very nearly a Last Straw Moment.
Somehow, I manage to hold it all in.
Later I get an email from the band I liked on Saturday. They were very happy with the tape I made for them and are open to working together in the future.
I had hoped they would be, and they were.
Maybe my jinx is fading.
Maybe I should quit my job.
Maybe I should stop being confused.
2 comments:
that company you work for must have an insanely low turnover rate hah!
At my last corporate type job, HR and payroll were located in the same office... which was also the office where soon to be employees waited for interviews and took typiing tests.
After a fairly similar incident involving disability pay and fucked up insurance coverage post a car accident - I discovered this little bit of information.
So, rather than bounce back and forth on the phone I spoke very loudly about my lack of coverage and missing disabiility pay, on a very busy day for prospective employees.
They helped me very quickly and I didn't even have to tell anyone that the head of HR had been caught having sex with her boss on the table at her last job.
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