Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Baggage Handling Scenario Quiz



Ouch. I'm suddenly in constant pain. Not the physical kind associated with immediate medical distress, but the emotional sort that comes from being cooped up alone in a featureless indoor box all day,every day, with nothing to do but read, write and think.
Reading writings that make me think about how little I understand about almost everything, even things that are important to me.
Maybe I will solicit the advice of strangers- I'm probably better off with asking now than finding out the hard way over and over again. So here goes.
(I'm asking this for a friend of mine- not for me- for privacy purposes I will refer to him as "Alien". )

WHAT DO YOU DO?

This is a purely hypothetical scenario, of course. Guys, just switch up the gender-specific nouns and pronouns -same questions :

You're a healthy single woman and you've been trying to meet a new guy, but it's slim pickins these days so you fill up those empty hours with some productive volunteer work- like at a community radio station or
Humane Society shelter.

During the course of your work there, you meet a guy named Alien. He's kinda cute, but he seems really shy and quiet-even aloof- until you talk with him a bit. Then you realize he's awkwardly shy, and he's too focused on twiddling dials or whatever the hell it is that he does, but you do get the impression that he likes you once he starts to open up a bit. He also seems very nice, and even if you only understand about half of everything he says it's soon clear that this guy is quite bright. You like smart men, so that's a 'plus' in Alien's favor. He doesn't have a lot of money or a nice car, but you don't hold those to be the most important things when scouting men. (I said this was hypothetical)
You wonder if he's attracted to you. He probably is.

He confirms this by asking you out for dinner. You accept. Why not? Maybe it'll be fun or even better...

So you make plans. After plans are set you decide to tell a girlfriend about your new date.

"Alien?", she sputters. "You made a date with him? Did you know he's a drunk? He used to date my ex-roomate's cousin's hairdresser's neighbor and she said he was fucked-up all the time. She dumped him after they had a three-way with her roomate. Disgusting."

Do you:

A) Break the date at the last possible minute. Don't ask questions, don't give answers, just blow the chump off. No rain check.
(END QUIZ)

B) Keep the date, but cautiously try to work the rumours you heard into the conversation. While you prize forthrightness, it makes you a little uncomfortable to do this-but you are interested and you don't readily believe every rumour you hear, so you find a way to do it.

C) Prior to your date, you directly confront Alien with what you've heard. Is this true, you ask?

If you answered B or C , you are somewhat surprised by Alien's willingness to provide whatever info you feel you need to know, even if it's less than flattering to himself. Among other things, you learn:

-He used to drink (and stuff) but has quit and has no plans to resume.
-He blushes at the mention of the 3-way. "Sure wish I'd been sober then", he says, embarrassed. "That was 18 years ago anyway..."

How do you handle this:

A) Leave and never look back. Too many problems.
(END QUIZ)

B) You realize that we are all someone else's baggage and that everyone has problems. You don't know if you want this particular relationship or not, but at least you've got a good idea of what to expect. You feel a sense of relief - at least you won't learn about all this stuff by surprise at some unforeseen future time. Like on your wedding day.
Or at the divorce hearing.
Knowing this, you decide to trust your instincts and see what happens.

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If you made it this far, call me. I could like so totally hook you up with Alien.

4 comments:

Susannity said...

if the past stuff bothers them, then they probably won't even try to verify the rumor, they just won't go. if it doesn't bother them, then they will go on the date. i think more women would be more nervous of the drinking than the 3some? not sure.

Allan said...

"if the past stuff bothers them, then they probably won't even try to verify the rumor, they just won't go"
BINGO!
I am the King of Being Stood Up!

Someone mouthy has a long-running grudge against me, but it's gonna bite them on the ass eventually, so I'm letting it go.

My past life is a lot more exciting when I hear about it third-hand, BTW.

Susannity said...

start feeding the rumor mill man!

did you know allan once stopped a bank robbery in progress?

i heard allan used to work for the cia.

allan's made billions from hagfish but lives modestly until he can find that right woman.

etc etc

Allan said...

but all that stuff's true...