Flat Earthers Piss Me Off

Note: This is my first-ever blogpost, republished here as filler.

Remember when the world was widely considered to be flat? I bet you don't. That's because a bunch of egg-head scientists and left-wing public school teachers have sold you on the lie that the world is round. Perhaps you've been shown a "globe" to help convince you of this falsehood.

Don't fall for this trick. What you are being shown is merely a ball.
Prove this to yourself-proceed to your nearest "globe" and kick it in the same manner you'd kick a soccer ball. Better yet, hit it with a baseball bat. It reacts like a ball, doesn't it? (Unless you've got one of those fancy-schmancy wooden "globes", in which case you'd better drag your intellectually elitist ass out of your ivory tower and head to the ER to get a cast on your newly-damaged foot).
In case you haven't noticed, the world is a goddamn cube.It's exactly 6 1/2' by 6 1/2'.
I know this because I measured it using a 3"x5" post-it note. It took a while.
Since I got paid for doing that I,must be a "professional".
Everyone knows you can always trust a professional to fix or solve yer problems (my so- called therapist being the exception). Wrong! They all suck and are useless for anything except billing you.
Those glowing sticks in the sky? Those are aren't called "stars", and yes , you've been lied to about more than just those.
That's not the sky- it's the ceiling. Reach for the acoustic tile, not for the stars.
On a positive note, space-travel is easier now than ever. Every single goddamned day I travel to another planet (also square) and bring coffee back to Earth. Somedays I go to a really big square planet full of glassy-eyed humanoids. Some people try to tell me these are called "meetings" , but I know them for what they really are-Alien Abductions.

Right down to the anal probe. If you haven't noticed this, you need another trip to Planet Coffee. Is it five o'clock yet?