Invert Pervert

Am I alone in my fascination with Sitemeter stats? Maybe not.
Do you have one on your blog? A sitemeter, I mean.
It can be interesting , at least to me, to watch how people find my blog.
Amazingly, it seems that people do a lot of questionable searches.
How do I know this?

I use the meter to read the "Search Words" field and see what people are looking for when they find my site. Some are mundane, even sorta quaint:

"informal name for a long-haul flight arriving in the early hours of the morning"


was entered by someone in the UK at 6:48 AM, browser time. I'd guess that this was someone doing a morning crossword puzzle- the answer,of course, is "red-eye".
It's somewhat pleasant to picture a vague stranger in London, sitting down with some coffee, bangers, mash and the morning crossword puzzle. I like that sort of morning.
Note to Reader: I am glad I could be so helpful, but if you can't do a simple crossword puzzle without using Google, you need to spend less time on-line.

One of my most consistent traffic drivers is variations on "possum". I am a marsupial enthusiast and have quite a few posts about possums -go over to the side and search this blog for 'possum', you'll see - some of the visits are from .edu sites and are driven by questions like:

"what do possums eat"
"possum habitat"
" possum species types"
and , number one:
"do possums attack",Pasadena CA , 6:15 last night.


Dear Pasadena: They will attack if they have rabies.Steer clear.

Innocent searches, but I hope kids aren't using my website for school reports. Some of my information re: possums is not very accurate.



Then there are the 'possum hunters' from the United Arab Emirates. I think that the U.A.E. , and Dubai in particular, must have the highest per-capita number of pervy internet trolls in the world.

Dubai possum searches are along the lines of:

"women possum touching"
"hairy possum"
" sexy possum"
and #1 :
" (celebrity name) possum", the most recent, Dubai, 3:41 am.
Note to Dubai perverts: It's called 'pussy'.

(The celeb was Darn (sic) Kagan, whose popularity confounds me. I do know that posting the phrase "Daryn Kagan / Rush Limbaugh Sex Video" will draw a crowd. Try it on your blog if you have the stomach for it. It's pretty gross.)


So I was browsing random updates and I found this site, which I instantly fell in love with. Believe me, I'm really glad I didn't find it by Googling "teenie redhead" or some such drek.
The blogger seems to have the same contempt for 'redhead' trolls as I do for UAE possum fetishists- which is considerable.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who looks at stuff like :

boyfriend or husband or guy and "only had one testicle"

and wonders: " WTF are they looking for"?
I'm not sure I want to know, really.

I love my Sitemeter. It's like reverse stalking.
I have the IP addresses of many UAE pervs, and I think if you get caught 'whacking off' in Dubai, you become am amputee, eunuch or worse.

Hmmm...plans a-brewin'.....how many 'X's' in extortion? Send me dinars or else.