Roomies?

My boss has been out with a toothache, so I haven't had much time to blog, eat lunch , read the news or do any of the other things that make my otherwise dreary day bearable.
I've got a temp helping me, but training takes time too...fortunately she's pretty quick.
I'm stressed out enough from waiting for the results of my X-Rays- not in yet!?- and the last thing I needed was a mountain of unexpected paperwork.

It wasn't as bad as I thought and I got it worked out by lunchtime, so I decided to catch up on my personal mail. My penpals cheer me up.

Emails from local sources are more of a mixed bag.

Have you ever had two good friends quarrel with each other and found yourself unable to comfortably choose sides because they both have valid points? Well, I have two sets of friends doing it right now and it's people who I see at least once a week or so...they have all sent me their manifestos denouncing each other and asking me to join them- which isn't possible.

My brain is imploding while it tries to sort through eight sides of four arguments, none of which are presented very clearly. I am used to clarity in writing and these jeremiads are full of bizarre references and distracting, irrelevant personal info and opinions.

I don't know why I am in the middle of this, perhaps I am the lone undecided member of our group? I don't understand and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

A few months ago, a different situation arose that was at least partially my responsibility, and my friends didn't listen to me when I said it was me. They put most of it on my other friend and he left. I felt that there was probably more too it, that sometimes personalities don't mix and unreasonable differences arise between reasonable people- it wasn't my business to ask why, which was the answer I received when I asked. In a nice way.

But now, I wonder if that incident wasn't more than a mis-handled case of bad communication.

The idea of being played by my friends against my friends revolts me, but it's a damned difficult noose to elude. I don't have- or want- enough objective information to wholly commit to any one camp.
I feel like I'm being drawn and quartered by people I care about.
It sucks.
I think I may be paranoid, but once melted, twice shy, as they don't say.

Anyway, after lunch the temp- who is looking for a new apt- wanted to show me an email she had received in reply to a roommates advert. It was curiously worded- to the uninitiated reader anyway: "discreet household, myself and two to three women, ages generally between 25 and 45...we are very private and considerate, what happens here, stays here...excellent home for open-minded woman, B/L OK. Also great opportunity for computer savvy housemate to earn $$$ helping with home business."

What did I think, she asked?

"Well, I think this is a swinger's ad looking for new talent and maybe a webmaster for their homemade porno site. But that's just a guess."

The phone rang. I answered with the company greeting.

It was a confused sounding man with a gravelly smoker's voice.

"Uh, is this...I'm trying to reach [ the temp]"

Oh, hoh! I could tell that this was the guy from the email...I passed her the phone. We sit two feet apart, so it's hard not to eavesdrop- but she waved me to stay and listen.

"Well, I'm at work and I don't have any pictures here and I don't have a computer at my current place...uh, I don't know...I'd have to see the place. Of course. OK."

"What?"

"He's going to send me pics of the house- and the housemates."

"Five bucks says he sends you nude shots."

"I'm not taking that bet."

A few minutes later she got a Yahoo message. With attachments.

We watched as her outdated PC slowly loaded the pics.

Hmmm...dude is nude. Full frontal. The temp giggles.

"Whoa, he is in good shape for an old man." She is 43. Dude is obviously older. Eeep.

Next, up popped a boner pic.

A close-up of Ol' Wrinkleneck. I was happily surprised to note that mine is bigger...most of the porn I've seen makes me feel a bit puny.

Finally we had a pair of three-way FFM shots. At least we think that's what it was...one person was of indeterminate gender , their face and crotch being hidden by another face and another crotch and all.

"Well, OK. These are posed shots. It's home porn. This would actually be an awesome way to make a living if exhibitionism and orgies gets your freak."

"I don't think so. Maybe lingerie or underwear...not that."

She was staring at the boner pic. Intently.

"I can't believe he sent me a donger."